Runaway Train
by cnikkis
Summary: Rose, what the hell do you want from me?" I said I pressed her against the wall, my body pinning her to it. "You Ryan, it's always been you. I have always loved you." I leaned over and forced my lips to her hers. Next gen. Twilight/ HP Crossover.
1. Meeting My Destiny

**To my readers of Remember Me here is the sequel, to my new readers; well you don't need to read it because this story can stand alone. For the first few chapters of this stories Ryan will be a little bit of a brat. This is because of his slight animosity to being so sheltered. Once he gets to Hogwarts and the story takes off he will be polite and more human. I hope you enjoy the story and please leave feedback!**

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Summary- Ryan Cullen is your average boy except for two things, one he is half vampire about to turn fully vampiric, and two he is a wizard. Follow him on his journey through love, loss, and getting to know himself. Next Gen HP/Twilight Cross.

Warnings- Substance abuse by minors, sensitive topic (suicide, depression something along those lines), language, scenes of a sexual nature, violence, slash, and probably other things that I forgot.

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Prologue

_Love can save the best of us, but it can also destroy. This is why I am stuck here in limbo. I have given up the only world I have ever known for her. She is perfect in every way, a best friend from the time I met her on the train. She was a friend when I needed one and my sister when my own family couldn't understand the pain. Now she is my girl, the one I want to spend an eternity with. To bad she only wants a lifetime, I can give her so much more then the human existence she craves, but I would give up anything for her. Even if it meant giving up what I had been programmed to want._

_Maybe she is what I want, I have never thought outside the career path that my mom and other family members thought up for me. Maybe I never wanted to be a healer; maybe I do want this mortal life. They all said I would turn evil, and I think that they are right now. Fighting evil is no different from becoming it. I can see that now. Both sides fight, both sides kill. I want to make some choices for myself. Choices that don't involve them telling me who to become. _

_Love destroyed who I was but made me who I am. _

_Ryan Cullen June 6__th__ 2021_

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Chapter One- Meeting My Destiny

August 1st, 2016

"Carlisle answer the door, I am up to my elbows in paint from Emalie's new room." My grandmother called from the kitchen.

I heard the nervous footsteps approaching for the last half mile. It was rather funny that the only thing I heard before that though was a pop that nearly startled me out of my chair, and onto the overly plush, and overly expensive carpet. I pulled out a lollipop and started sucking on the lifeblood of a field mouse. "Blag," I cried as I listened to the nervous coughing outside the door as grandpa humanly made his way towards the door.

"Read the label next time," he chuckled to me. I gave him the finger behind his back.

I made my way back to the candy dish filled with suckers. Looking at the labels I couldn't help but groan. Seriously, field mouse and prairie dog are the worst. I thought we stopped buying them once mom could stomach something besides rodents. I dug deeper and pulled out the one I was looking for, Siberian Tiger. I started to suck on the candy and walked towards the door to greet our visitor. Even though I was an unruly eleven year old my job was to protect my family. I guess that's because no one else can shoot flame out of their finger tips on a whim.

I positioned myself in front of the door and listened to the nervous ramblings of the man outside the door, "I can't believe I'm back here. And why the hell did they have to choose this house. Don't they know the history behind it? O no I guess they don't. Still I guess I like what they have done with the place, pink roses really brighten it up."

"By the way I heard your little action there son," my grandfather said as he popped me over the head. _"Next time have a little more respect, I know you're growing up, but still. You aren't Uncle Emmett yet." _He thought towards me. Love you too gramps.

I dawdled a little longer hoping our unexpected visitor would go away so I could get back to Halo Massacre, but he just seemed to get more persistent. "I know you guys are home, let me in and you can get back to what ever it was with the homicidal angels." The man shouted through the door.

I nearly ripped the door of its hinges as soon as I realized that the man on the other side of the door had read my mind. I never blocked it when dad wasn't home, no point. Mom and dad were out trying to find yet another surrogate mother for the baby that she desperately wanted. I don't see why she bothers anymore, it's not like she'll ever find one. Anyway, back to the present. Sometimes I hate my advancing mind. Now that I am growing more vampiric, my mind is as well. I have always been more intelligent then you average child, but now it's like I have constant ADHD. If some random thought passes through my mind, I follow it through. O hell, there I go again.

I grabbed the man by the front of his funny dress/smock thing and dragged him inside. "Who the flying fuck are you?" I yelled at him.

"Ryan, what are you doing to our guest?" My mom screamed as she got back into the house. I heard from her mind that dad was still dinking around at the hospital. "I'm sorry sir; he normally doesn't act like this."

"He can read my mind," I mumbled to my mom. I knew she closed down our connection. "_O well that changes things_," she thought back.

The intruder was sitting on the couch shaking, "_Stupid, stupid, walking into a house full of vampires and telling them that I can read their minds! I am fucking brilliant. Thank god I kissed the kids and Gin goodbye this morning. I hope they don't kill me_," he thought frantically. An image of a redhead popped into his head, as well as three round cheeked, babies. Maybe he wasn't a threat, but he knows what we are, on top of the whole being able to read my mind thing. I wish Aunt Allie was here to see what was going to happen next.

"I don't want to hurt you, but you did read my mind, and on top of that you know what we are. I demand an explanation!" I said as calmly as I could.

"You are so much like him," he murmured." Ok, my name is Harry James Potter; I have no idea why I just told you my full name." He looked at the floor and tried to get himself back under control. "I am here because I have some good news for you Ryan," he said looking directly into my eyes. I could help but notice they were the exact same shade of green as mine were. He gasped and continued, "Carlisle I am a friend of Dumbledore's, he sent me years ago as soon as your name generated on our list, Ryan. Please, I bring no harm, and if you listen to me you may find that my secret is just as big as yours." His mind refilled with babblings about hoping he made it home.

I could never hurt someone who seemed to be so genuine. I tuned down the feral newborn look and softened my face to look more childlike. "Any friend of Dumbledore's is a friend of ours," Carlisle butted in, offering Potter some piece of mind. It was a good thing too; I was going bat-shit crazy from his random thoughts about his untimely death.

"Sooo, Harry, what brings you Little Hangleton? Why specially, did you seek out us?" I asked, fully intending on giving him the third degree.

"Wait did you say Ryan was on a list? What list would this be? Didn't Dumbledore work at a school, for people like you? Why would Ryan be on that list?" Carlisle butted in. Christ, give me a break. I am the family protector here, not some three hundred year old geezer whose greatest gift is his control.

"Yes, he did. Ryan has been accepted into Hogwarts. I was going to tell you about me first, because I assume he knows nothing, but I think Ryan needs to know that he has a place with us as long as he willing to accept it." H e locked eyes with me again. I nodded towards him.

"And just what are you Mr. Potter?" I asked relaxing my muscles. Being accepted into a school, any school would be so much better then staying here. I love my family, but I am tired of having no one to play with, or talk to. I want someone my own age. It seems that I have stopped aging mentally, and I am seventeen. I just wish that physically I was the same age, and then I could leave them and find my own place in this world. Mom and dad just don't get that I have a mind of my own, and I want to talk to someone who isn't a freakin' Cullen.

"I see that you are starting too excited, that's good Ryan. It shows me that you aren't like him after all. I am a wizard, I can do magic, brew potions, stuff like that." I searched his mind for any sign of dishonesty.

When I could find none, I felt a smile stretch across my face, "Does this mean I'm a wizard too? Are there kids I can hang out with? Mom can I go?" I yelled beginning to bounce around the room.

"Magic you have got to be kidding me, does the death Star exist too. God what is with this freaking world? Yes, son you have my permission to attend the school that will make you even more unique. You have to wait until you dad gets home though, for the final say." Mom slumped over onto the opposite couch and started to laugh.

"She's fine," I mouthed to Harry. "I'm sorry about before, I just have to protect my family. I'm not normally that big of an ass."

"It's ok, so what else do you want to know while we are waiting for your father, it's normal to have questions."

"I don't really have any. I have seen parts of it, through my aunt's visions, but I never believed it. I just want to meet people I'm not related too." I smiled at him.

"I was the same way, only I was praying to meet people that I was related to," Harry answered.

We sat in silence until I heard graceful footsteps coming up the steps. "He's here," I whispered so everyone in the house could hear.

"I'm home," Dad called, expecting Emalie and I to run straight into his waiting arms. Sorry pops, not going to happen today. "Guys," he called as he walked into the living room. It seemed that everyone else in the house stopped breathing.

"Holy crap Edward, are you sure you are not descended from wizards, specifically the Diggory's?" Harry spoke without thinking. Apparently Dad looked familiar.

"Who the hell are you? What the hell is going on, and yes I did have some Diggory's but that was in like the early 1900's when they disowned us. What the hell are you talking about?" I felt Harry open his mind, and relive everything that just happened. I guess it was just easier that way.

After watching him tell a little bit about the wizarding world, I saw some stuff that I probably wasn't supposed to see. It was Harry standing in the graveyard at night and a creep thing was coming out of the cauldron. Well, that explains why he didn't want to be here.

Harry suddenly cut off the memory and nodded towards us. This boy has seen some shit."I'm sorry." I told him.

"Harry, Ryan has my permission to attend this Moghart's place. I just expect him to return to me every year in one piece. I also expect monthly updates on his grades and attitude. Lately he seems to be a little moody and rebellious. Please let us know if causes any problems."

Harry smiled at my dad and extracted a piece of paper, "Ryan, do you want to come to the Alley with me to buy some of your school supplies? Your parents can come too, if they wish."

I looked at my parents hopefully, I wanted to leave the house without them, and go with Harry. I loved them, but I had never been away from them in public, hell probably not at home either. They both sighed and nodded. I jumped and gave them a hug. I was finally free.

"Ryan, what way do wish to travel?" Harry asked as we got out of earshot from the family.

"Whatever will get me away from here the fastest," I replied.

"That's just what I was hoping to hear," Harry said as grabbed my arm. I immediately felt like I was being pushed through a pipe that was to too small.

* * *

When I stopped retching the remnants of my blood pop up on the cement I looked to see where I was. I noticed the sign hanging above my head the read **"The Leaky Cauldron"** and there were more people dressed in the funny smocks. Some people walked on by without even noticing us, while others gave Harry a smile. Why could some people see us and others couldn't?

"They are muggles. They know nothing about our way of life. The others are like you and I, I hate to toot my own horn but I am rather well known." Harry told me as pushed me into the pub. "Hi Tom, how's business going?"

"Better then it was a few years ago, thank you Mr. Potter." The barman bowed at Harry as he rushed us towards the back door.

"I know you want to look around Ryan, but we do need to get into the alley first. I understand that this is your first time out of earshot from your family in years."

I nodded towards him as he pulled out a stick and tapped bricks in a specific order. As he finished the pattern the wall opened up to what looked like a strip mall from a fantasy movie. There were random things flying around, brooms taking flight, and owls on every street post. "Wow," I murmured. Harry just smiled.

"Welcome, Ryan. Welcome to your new world."

We passed a couple shops without even looking through the windows. Apparently Harry was looking for something specific. "What we looking for?"

"**Ollivander and Lovegood, **it's a wand shop. It should decide how long we have left to mess around for the day."

I was seriously going to get a wand! This day is by far the best day of my life! We passed by several more shops, including one that was shooting things out its bright orange walls. I hope we go into that one, I couldn't help but think. Mr. Potter just smiled at me again.

"Harry, what is it that you do?" I asked as we continued to walk.

"I am kind of like a police officer, but in the summer I welcome muggle borns, or in your case vampire born into our world. I am also thinking about becoming a teacher, but I'm not sure if the wife would go for it. I would be away from home too much and the kids might kill me." He smiled at ne again. His joyfulness was infectious.

I nodded at him again and continued until we saw the store we were looking for. Harry ushered me inside quickly, and locked the door behind him. I wondered why.

"Harry," I heard a dreamy voice whisper. "It has been too long, how are the little ones?" Apparently Harry knew this person.

A woman with long blonde hair stepped out from behind the counter, and gave Harry a hug. "Luna, mine are fine. How about the shop?"

"Still the best in the industry," she replied in the same dreamy voice. "Ryan Cullen such a pleasure to meet you, I hope we can find something that will work for you in a somewhat timely matter. I understand that you want to see as much as possible. Yes Harry you may go get his books while I fit him with a wand. You will have time, and I am sure he doesn't want to send the time he could be in WWW in the bookstore."

"You are like Alice aren't you?" I blurted out.

"You could say that son, so you ready to find your wand. Be warned that the wand chooses the wizard. You can do great things now, and go down any path you choose. I just hope you choose the one that leads you into the light," she said as she disappeared into the back bringing out ten dusty boxes.

"Old souls deserve old wands she murmured," as she put back on her funky glasses.

I tried the first one and the roof started to snow, I dropped the wand in shock and turned to the slightly insane witch that was reading her magazine upside down. "No, keep going you'll know when it's the right one."

I nodded towards her and continued picking up wands and waving them. After about a half hour, I had made it snow, rain, produced gnomes, and many other random occurrences that were quite unpleasant. "Try thins one, Evergreen15 inches, with a werewolf core. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner."

I swished the wand as Harry walked in the door, and immediately I started to feel warm and bubbly. Harry smiled and I looked down to see myself glowing. Well apparently I was an evergreen werewolf person. "I would say curious, but I don't see the need. The werewolf combats the vampire, making the magic more pure." Luna smiled at me as Harry handed her some gold pieces.

"Crap," I yelled suddenly. I reached for my wallet in my five hundred dollar unwanted pants. "Here you go." I told Luna as I handed her some bills. She looked at me funny.

"Son, I got this. Don't worry in a little bit we will go to the bank and open you an account, but for now just sit tight. You can pay me back later, even though you don't need to. I have about as much money as your family does."

Harry paid for my wand and directed me towards a clothing shop, "You need your robes, and Madame Malkin's is the best place to get them. Go get fitted and then we will go to Weasley Wizard Wheezes, I know you are curious about that shop."

As soon as we walked into the shop we were assaulted by a brown head of hair. "Harry, it's been forever!" The lady screamed as she hugged Harry fiercely.

"Relax Minister; it's only been two weeks. How are the kids?" Harry asked the Minister Lady.

"Good and yours are doing well too, I already talked to Gin, and don't call me minister. You have earned the right to call me Hermione. We have after all been friends since we were his age," Hermione said as she looked towards me. "The Cullen boy I presume," I nodded. "Great to meet you, I am Hermione Weasley, also known as the Minister of Magic. Try not to get into any trouble, ok. I'd rather not have to fight for you. Harry, now that you're here there is an open house at WWW for Angelina's latest win. The kids won't be there though, but all the adults are planning on coming. Mainly it's a way for us to blow off some steam."

"Be there soon," Harry said as the Minister hurried out the door.

"Do you know everyone," I couldn't help but ask.

"No but everyone knows me, here let get you measured so you can see what wizard kids buy."

I was quickly fitted and rushed out of the robe store and back down the alley. "So you have everything. I will unshrink it when I take you home. Now onto the fun stuff, o and I believe that Hermione has already opened your account for you. I think she even contacted your parents for a donation to it."

I was quieter then normal, I somehow knew I was going to be walking into a room full of wizards, all of which Harry knew and I wanted them to like me. I knew Harry was going to become close to me, though I'm not sure why. I guess it's just because he is so likeable.

"Harry," a chorus rang out as soon as we entered the bright orange shop. Holy hell this guy was famous.

"Hey guys, I can't stay long. I need to get Mr. Cullen here back to his parents. I'm sure they are stressing by now." Harry smiled as he hugged his way through the room of red heads.

"Ryan, these are the Weasley's. This is my family, with the exception of the children. The kids are all at Grimald Place right now, no doubt giving Hagrid the time of his life. I would send you there but I don't think your parents would appreciate that all too much." I looked at everyone, and wondered how I was going to get all their names straight.

"Hey Cullen," the room greeted me and went back to their business. I noticed a statue in the corner. It was moving like most of the artwork I had seen, but this one seemed different. "That's my twin Fred, he died in the war." A tall red head said from behind me.

I looked at him and smiled a little, "I am sorry. Did you guys run the shop together?"

"O ya, here's a box of goodies. Don't drive your parents to crazy with them. We hope to see you again, but if we don't take care son." He seemed to disappear as I blinked.

"Ready to go home?" Harry asked in my head.

"Yes," I replied back.

He said his quick goodbye's and grabbed my arm again. The next thing I knew I was in front of my house and Harry was shuddering again. "I really hope you guys move soon. Now that you know about us look into the history of the house. You may be shocked. Also ask for a new bedroom, it's just too creepy where you are staying."

I saluted Harry and made my way inside the house, back into the parental prison that never let up. I had already made up my mind to research the house.


	2. Trying to Escape

Trying to Escape

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SO much happened here, from one of my relatives croaking at the hand of a mediocre wizard, to evil rebirth, and then there was a muggle by the name of Frank murdered right in my bedroom. Shouldn't they tell you this sort of thing when you buy a house? You know I would have been happy with, "There have been multiple murders in this house, just so you know." It wouldn't have discouraged us from buying it at the time; we are freaking vampires after all, but now to know that one of the most evil wizards of all time had at one point token up residence in my bedroom to plot his comeback I want to leave. I can almost feel the evil seeping in my pores causing me to turn away from the love I have always known. Maybe it's the house that affects me, and turns me from happy eleven year old to surly teenager.

With my research on the WWWW, I have learned why Harry is so famous. Hell, he defeated the most evil wizard of all time, while not giving into the pressure to become like him. Harry is truly amazing, he lived his life being beaten and alone, isolated from anyone who could love him. At eleven, he found out about his destiny and went away from all the pain he ever felt. I see now why Harry's face is on more products then Tiger Wood's before he started to bang every big cheasted blonde he came across. Harry is a hero, and I wonder if I can live up to that.

I have read more into people like me. Apparently vampirism cancels out the magic genes in most magical vampires giving them only one special gift. With me it seems that vampire in me is enhancing the magic, I already have a strong gift for wand less magic, not that I can practice, and I can't wait to see what spells I can perform once I get into the school. I only wish September first was tomorrow instead of two weeks away. I want to embrace who I am, not run from it like most of my other family members do. My father left my mom rather then have her become like him, of course it happened eventually, but he still is that person that hates who he is. I don't see why he can't embrace it, it's not like he is some thing that should not even exist.

See, vampires with full magical powers aren't supposed to exist. When we changed or born the venom destroys most vampires ability to use magic. With me my venom bonded with it and made me into what I am now. Super strong, fast, and magically inclined. The only person who fully knows the answers to my questions however is dead and I have to wait to get into to Hogwarts to talk to his portrait.

"Ryan, get down here this second. It's time for dinner and your father wants to talk about so things with you." My mom's voice interrupted my thoughts; it always does when I start to learn more about what I am. "Coming, "I whispered, so she could barely hear me.

I made my way down the stairs slowly, not wanting to see them, not even Alice who I got along with the best. They just didn't understand what it was like. They loved to be in one another's airspace constantly, I on the other hand wanted to go form some bonds of my own. I am tired of being treated like a child, when so much of the time I am expected to act like an adult. I am supposed to be willing to lay down my life to protect them, while they keep treating me like I am a baby. I miss when it was just mom and I, she would let me get away with more. She would let me walk around the block by myself, as long as stayed in contact with her of course, but since dad came back, he treats me like a child. I am one, I know, but still if I am supposed to set evil vampires on fire just by thinking of it, then shouldn't I be able to have some freedom?

I entered my dad's lair, and stared at the floor. "You paged," I said to him as I stared at my feet.

"Ryan, I am sick of your attitude. You need to listen to us, and get out of you surly mood otherwise I am going to ground you. You are turning into a brat, and frankly I can't deal with it. Mocking me behind my back and flipping me off is not proper behavior. We raised you better then that." He chastised, while I mentally mocked him. I am so fed up with his high and mighty attitude.

"Dad look, I am done with this. You guys never give me any freedom. The only one who does is mom, and she gets yelled at by you when she does. I am tired of being treated like a child. My age and appearance may look childlike, but I am not one. I could destroy you with a flick of my finger; I can take care of myself, so stop acting like my protector. You are never going to be able to protect me; it's time to let me go make my own mistakes." I said as I looked him straight in the eyes.

Dad puffed up as the rage filled him, "Ryan do not talk to me like that. You are a child, you need to respect me."

"I need to respect no one, especially someone who hasn't earned it. Respect is based on trust, and frankly the only thing I trust you to do is lock me in my room and throw away the key. I am not going to tolerate it anymore. Get out of my face and let me go on my own way, before I tell you the only thing you are good at." I told him fuming, feeling a red haze cross over my eyes.

"I am you father you have no right to talk to me like that," he yelled, drawing my mom into the room.

"Fathers do not leave mothers after having sex. Fathers allow their children freedom to grow up, and fathers do not send their children mixed messages. Look I'm sorry that you have such a poor image of yourself to where you have to control every thing around you, but I refuse to be an object of your control any longer, let me go dad or so help me you will never see me again." I yelled at him as I left the room.

I tore out of the house and ran to the only place I felt safe, a muggle coffee shop. I tuned into the conversation from the shop and couldn't help but smile when mom finally stood up for herself. You go girl.

"Hey little boy, don't you think you should be here with a parent," The barista said to me after I had been sitting there for awhile.

"No, I don't. I can take care of myself, here bring me a tea." I said as I handed her a hundred.

"But we don't take bills this big for such small purchases," she said staring at it. She was clearly wondering why I had so much money.

"Then keep the change, I don't care just bring me my tea and leave me alone. I am tired of people hovering over me, treating me like I am completely helpless, newsflash I'm not. I am more then capable of walking the three blocks from my house to the shop, and I am even more capable of drinking tea in a coffee shop. I am not trying to be rude Miss, but I fed up with being treated like a child." She scampered off to the back, and then I heard what her boss told her.

"Girl, that's the Cullen boy. He is rich and yes he can take care of himself. It's like the entire family has a telekinetic bond. If something were to happen to him, his parents would be here in thirty seconds, and yes a ninety eight dollar tip is something that is to be expected from them, they are loaded. Now mind your own business before I fire you."

I snorted, and waited for my tea. The shop owner knows my mom and I, normally we come here together, until dad calls us back to the house. I guess mom likes to get away from him too. The waitress brought me my tea in a huff and went back to the register; she wasn't going to last long.

I sipped my tea until the haze cleared from my eyes and I was able to see clearly again, "Mom," I called out mentally, knowing that she was out looking for me, "I am in the coffee shop." She came in a few minutes later looking ruffled.

"Sorry," I told her looking at my untied laces.

"Ryan, baby its ok. You finally got through to him though. To bad now he is moping around the house, trying to cry. Now in the next two weeks we may be able to go out and do stuff besides the typical coffee shop and walk around the house, want to go to London before you have to leave for school? We could get some shopping done, or whatever it is you want to do, maybe we could even go to Venice, and get some nice Italian clothes for your new school. Just do not blame yourself, he needed to hear it, and being nice wasn't working." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

I reached over the table and gave her a hug. Nothing could ever take away the feeling of contentment from being in my mother's arms.

* * *

**Any guesses to what house Ryan is going to be in? Also the next chapter will be the last one from his first year, and then it will jump into his sixth year. Another mistake that I made was the year in the first chapter; add a year to the italicized entry.**


	3. Freedom

Freedom

* * *

Two weeks after my freak-out on my father, I am on a magical platform an hour early waiting to board the train. My father opted to stay home so that he wouldn't have to give me the typical speech of be good, don't do anything all too risky, blah blah I like to control the sunrise. The only ones joining me were my mother and Alice. Alice had to go see the luxury life of wizards, really it's not that much more luxurious then other lives, and my mom wanted to see me off because this would be the longest I would be away from her since my birth. A whole four months without parents, boarding school was going to rock.

"Ryan, you don't have to go. We could figure something out so that you study at home, maybe Harry could tutor you." My mom said as she pulled me into yet another hug.

"Mom, I want to go. I will be fine, and we got the Floo Network set up so you can visit occasionally. I am not allowed out of the castle on weekends until my third year though. Just don't stress, the time will fly by."

"I am just being a typical mother; normally parents have a longer time before their babies leave forever. Have fun, I think you can board the train now." She told me as the scarlet trains doors opened. I was the only person here this early.

I gave my mom a hug and lifted my trunk and made my way towards a compartment. I looked out the window to wave to my mom again, but she and Alice had left. I knew I was supposed to feel some sense of loneness from my family leaving but instead I felt relief. I was free.

I made my way down the carriage, and opened a glass door, inside was a man with black hair sucking the face off a blonde beauty, "Err sorry," I mumbled as I shut the door again.

I continued down the carriage until I came to an emerald and gold compartment. Most of the other ones I had seen were either blue and gold or scarlet and gold. I liked the green the most.

I pulled out Hogwart's a New and Updated History, and turned to the chapter on the battle of Hogwarts. It was something that always amazed me, how one fight could change the course of the wizarding world forever. I read the chapter quickly, and decided to pull out Harry's History by Rita Skeeter. Most of the book seemed to be bullshit, but at least it gave me some insight to what had happened. I almost wish that Harry was my dad.

I continued to read for another fifteen minutes, when the buzz of voices outside the train let me know it was about time to leave. I didn't think anyone would want to sit with me, so I pulled out my spell book, might as well learn what I need to learn. I put Harry's History on the seat beside me, and zoned out.

I sat lost in my thoughts until the footsteps appeared to be more panicked. Apparently it was about time to leave. I hoped that I could make friends at Hogwarts; I never had a friend before. The only people I was able to talk to were my family members and the occasional waiter. Friends were a foreign concept to me, who would want to be friends with me anyway? I am a freak of nature. The only reason why I am going to Hogwarts is because I am a magical vampire. What will the kids do when they find out I'm a vampire? Will they banish me? O crap the nerves that I hadn't felt started to appear and I couldn't get rid of them.

I knew the compartments were nearly full now, and that the train would be leaving in thirty seconds. I heard footsteps outside my compartment and looked to see who it was.

"Mind if I join you? Everywhere else is full, and I don't fancy sitting with my family." A black haired green eyed boy asked me from the sliding door.

"Holy shit, you look like-"

"Harry Potter, ya I know. I'm his son. You look like a Diggory, but I'm not going to hold it against you. Can I sit with you or not?"

"Sure, sorry about that. I was surprised to see someone who looked like him; I thought his kids were younger." I told the kid who was obviously Harry's son.

"It's ok, you must be muggle born. I'm Albus by the way, I'm sure you know my last name."

"I'm Ryan Cullen, I'm a first year I guess, but then again you probably knew that."

Albus made his way into my compartment, lugging his trunk behind him. "Here let me get that for you," I grabbed his trunk from him and lifted it into the railing.

"Fuck your strong," he plopped down into the seat across from me. It was my goal to try and keep the vampire part of me a secret.

"I try to help out my parents around the house," I lied.

"That's good, so have you met anyone else? I seem to know everyone so I can offer you help in meeting the right people."

"No I haven't met anyone; I have just kept to myself. I am scared about meeting people; I have never had friends before." I told him, knowing that it would lead to questions.

"Why not? You seem like a good person."

"My parents are super protective; this is like the first time in my entire life that I am actually out of earshot."

"Wow that must suck. Do you have any siblings? I have two but I am different from them. I don't really fit in with my family, except for my cousin Rose. What house do you think you will be in?" He asked me trying to form a bond. I could see that even though he had a huge family, he was just as lonely as me.

"I'm not sure; I'm not really brave or smart. I'm more loyal and ambitious. I'm sure I will end up in Hufflepuff. Slytherin probably won't take me; I'm not a pure blood, not even close."

"Aww, we don't care about blood anymore. Aunt Hermione changed that for the world when she got the minister position. As far as brains and bravery goes, I think you have both. Hell, you have only known about our world for a month at best and are able to hold a conversation with someone who was born into it. Don't doubt yourself, it makes you look emo." He smiled at me and looked to see what I was reading. "Please tell me you don't believe that crap the beetle publishes. She is wretched. If you have any questions about the golden trio, you can come to me." He said as he torched my book.

"I could have done that. I just wanted to know more. I hate being ignorant." I told him as I watched my book burn.

"Spoken like a true Slytherin bet you'll be in that house."

"Well house do you think you'll be in?" I asked him trying to get over his bluntness.

"Gryffindor or Slytherin, whatever is the best fit for me. My father told me it didn't matter as long as I was happy. My brother might kill me though if I end up in Slytherin." He told me smiling. "You see my entire family, on both sides, has been in Gryffindor since like the beginning of time. I am even descended from him, but I am different. We will see when we get to school."

"Wow, my family-"

"Their muggles it's ok. We have so many new muggle borns now. I guess the fear of magic has gone out of the window."

I looked up to see a blonde haired boy standing outside the door, "Hey, do you want to join us?" I asked him.

"I don't think I can. You guys might not want me." He mumbled and continued to stand there.

"Come in, I won't bite hard," I chuckled at my little joke and smiled at him again. "Albus tell him it's ok."

The blonde looked hopeful, but still seemed nervous. "Malfoy, you may join us. Just don't become your typical pompous self and we will get along."

"I could say the same thing to you Potter," The Malfoy kid spat as he turned to walk away.

"Wait, Albus was just kidding. You are more then welcome to join us; as long as you aren't an ass we will have you."

"As long as you aren't your father," Albus interjected under his breath.

"I'm not him, and I will never be," Malfoy said as he sat down next to me. "What's your name?"

"Ryan and yours?"

"Scorpius, but I prefer Scorp. My parents must have been on drugs when they named me. Seriously there are much better constellations out there." He joked.

"So Scorp, why are you sitting with us instead of your fathers friends? I highly doubt he wanted you to make nice with the Potter Weasley Clan." Albus said sarcastically.

"Because I don't have to listen to him, plus his friends never had kids. I'd rather hang out with people that don't believe in blood status."

"Good answer Scorp, want a chocolate frog?" Albus said as he dug in his backpack.

I sat in silence while they ate their candy. All I wanted was a blood pop that was buried in my bag, but that would cue them into my abnormality. I felt my eyes change to a darker color and tried to hide it. I started to practice my spells. Once I had finally mastered Reparo, a knock came on the compartment door. Albus opened the door, and I was immediately assaulted by the stench of werewolf.

"Teddy!" Albus greeted the wolf enthusiastically.

The wolf caught my scent and turned on me growling, "What the hell are you doing here?"

I felt a snarl rise up and responded, "I could ask you the same thing. I'm not doing anything wrong."

"Umm, guys what the hell is going on?" Albus yelled over our snarls.

'He's a freaking vampire," the wolf yelled. Well the cats out of the bag now.

"Ya and your werewolf, a half wolf I'm guessing. I'm here to learn magic so back down!"

"You're lying, vampires can't learn magic. Albus, Scorpius get behind me while I go and grab security!" When neither of them moved he snarled again, "Do you want to be dinner?"

"He's not lying, he can do magic. I saw him as we were getting to one another, then his topaz ring turned black, but still he can do magic. Ryan are you a vampire?" Albus argued back. Scorpius was standing behind me trying to cower.

"I'm half vampire, my mom and dad had me while she was still human and for some reason I am still magically gifted. I wanted to keep it a secret until I actually made some friends, but now I guess I'm screwed. Thank you Teddy, thank you for making it so no one will ever want to be my friend." I said as I started to grab my stuff, "O and by the way, my family is vegetarian. We have never fed off a human, but I'm sure that doesn't matter more." I said I pulled out a blood pop, no more having to hide.

I made my way to the door when Teddy stopped me, "Ryan, I'm sorry."

I growled in response and tried to leave again, "Ryan, come back here. I don't give a flying fuck if you turn into a bat. You're still a cool person, Scorp agrees too. Get back in here!"

They grabbed me by the shoulders and took me back into my cabin. "There you go, friends?"

Albus stuck his hand in my face and made me shake it. Shortly after Scorpius did the same thing, and we went back to practicing our spells.

* * *

""Wingardium Levisosa," Scorpius called trying to get a chocolate frog wrapper to levitate off the seat. I knew he was saying the spell wrong, but I didn't have the heart to correct him. We had been performing spells for the better part of the journey and this was the first one that he had a problem with.

I heard footsteps slow outside our door and burst open as I stared blankly out the window. "Ugg, I just had to get away from them. They are driving me bonkers, how many jokes can a person take before they curse someone." I heard a female voice say.

"Rosie, you know they mean well, it's just that sometimes you are a know it all. You are your mother's daughter after all, though a bit more thickheaded." Albus told her as he went back to the levitation charm.

"O really, it's obvious you are nothing like your father, hanging out with a Malfoy? Your father would be so ashamed," Rose commented, looking mildly disgusted.

"Rose, I hold no grudges. Scorp has never done anything to you, and besides he seems nothing like the stories we heard about Draco. Maybe you should try to be more understanding; this is Ryan by the way." Albus said putting his cousin in her place.

"The vampire, I heard all about him. They let anyone into the school now; I almost wish it was the way it was before when we didn't let dangerous creatures into the school."

I finally looked up at the girl, offended by what she had said, how could she be related to Harry? "Excuse me Rose, I don't really appreciate being talked about like that. I am not a bad person and in some ways I am more human then most humans. It's not my fault I was born, let alone born magical. I want to enhance my abilities and embrace who I am. If you have a problem with that, please leave my cabin." I looked into her hazel eyes as I spoke, and was immediately awestruck. I think I fell in love with her on the spot. She was beautiful, not conventional beauty, but perfect nonetheless. Her hair was a wild mess of red curls, her face was round with freckles and slightly rounded features, and she was taller then most girls her age.

She met my eyes and something about her expression changed, "Sorry, I guess I'm just nervous about going to school. I have never really fit in anywhere before and I'm worried that school will be the same. Ryan was it? It's nice to meet you, you too Scorpius, I shouldn't be letting my nerves get to me like this. I guess I don't want to be sorted into Slytherin; it would bring up a whole family controversy, a Weasley in Slytherin, who would have thought?"

"Aww, Rosie it's not that bad. It just means that you are more ambitious and goal driven then our cousins. You also have the nerve to run when something scares the pants off you." Albus spoke up.

"Wingardium Leviosa," Scorpius interrupted.

"You're pronouncing the gar wrong," Rose commented then plopped down next to the blond.

Albus and Scorpius both rolled their eyes and muttered something that sounded like, "Mother like daughter," I had turned off my mind reading abilities for the time being, because you never want to know what someone is thinking about you.

I went back to my spell book, and started to transfigure my textbook into a notebook. I wanted to try some more difficult spells.

"Ryan, are you really a vampire?" Rose spoke up out of the blue.

"Half, kinda. I will turn into a full vampire when I turn seventeen. I am just curious to why I have magical abilities, I'm not supposed too."

"Maybe the fates have something bigger in store for you," Rose commented as she stood up. "Time to change into our robes, the train will be arriving soon. O and Ryan, you have beautiful eyes." She left the cabin blushing.

Scorp, Albus, and I shrugged towards one another before we grabbed our own robes out of our trunks. Mine were cashmere, magically entwined with silk. They felt like heaven on my skin. "When we get sorted we get our ties in house colors." Scorpius spoke up.

I nodded towards him and continued to dress.

* * *

"I really hate it when the firs' years fall in the lake," the giant Hagrid mumbled as he pulled out a tiny boy named Frank Longbottom. Poor kid the water must have been freezing.

We made our way to the castle doors and were greeted by an extremely old and stern looking witch. "Welcome to Hogwarts, we are going to proceed with the sorting then you will join your house and eat the feast. This the only night of the year where you are required to enjoy your meal with your house. Follow me first years."

"Who's that?" I whispered to Rose.

"Headmistress McGonagall, she is an old friend."

I gulped and nodded back, I was going to be the first one of my friends to be sorted.

The first five people went before me without any attention from me. I was more focused on keeping my blood pop in my stomach. "Cullen, Ryan." Called out the Headmistress, I felt a few pats on my back and made my way to the stool.

"Aww, a vampire," the hat said inside my head. "Thoroughly gifted though I don't think he knows his full potential. He is braver then he thinks he is, loyal too. Cunning though runs through him like fire and his brains o his brains. A difficult decision, very difficult, what does he say."

"Whatever you think is best. I am ok with any house." I replied.

"No input either, normally I would choose a different house but I see something in you that make the best fit, SLYTHERIN!"

The house furthest on my left erupted with cheers and I made my way to where the first years sat. People patted my back as I made my way to the table, and I heard many congratulations.

I zoned out during most of the sorting until I heard my friends names called, Scorpius went to Slytherin without as much as a gasp and shutter. When Albus was called the hat sat on his head for a whole five minutes, a gasp went through the room when he was sorted into Slytherin as well. I went into my own world sandwiched in between my friends as I heard Weasley, Dominique, Gryffindor. I focused on Rose who stumbled to the chair trying to hide her nerves; it sat on her head for about a minute before it called out Slytherin again.

A bigger gasp went through the room then it did for Albus. I knew that Rose was the first Weasley to be sorted into to a house besides Gryffindor, but I didn't see the big deal. We were all cunning, brilliant, and determined, why did it matter?

The Headmistress stood to address from her seat at the middle of the head table and immediately everyone started to pay attention, "Welcome to another year at school, and I thank you for sitting through a most interesting sorting. Please make note that there will be some staff changes this year, the most important being my retiring." Murmurings filled the hall, "Quiet." Professor McGonagall snapped, "My position shall be filled by none other then Harry Potter. For those of you that aren't familiar, check out the library for more information, for those of you who are please treat him with the respect of any Hogwarts professor." A groan came from the opposite side of the hall. The group was nothing but red heads.

"Yes, Weasley's that means you, maybe you will finally stay out of trouble. A few more announcements, Draco Malfoy will take up the position of potions professor, and Luna Lovegood will take my old position of Transfiguration teacher. I hope you respect our new teachers and treat them with as much respect as Slughorn and myself. Now with nothing more to say, please dig in."

Food appeared in front of me and I was suddenly famished. I filled my plate and turned to my friends who were complaining about their relatives taking up teaching positions. "Hey, guys we can still get away with things, I can read minds!" I told them. All gained a smile and Albus replied, "This is going to be the start of a wonderful friendship!"

* * *

**Here ends the introduction of Ryan the next chapter will be of him at the beginning of sixth year. I hope you are enjoying the story and I hope to get another update out soon!**


	4. I Could Use Somebody

_Use Somebody- _Kings of Leon Chap. Song

* * *

September 2nd, 2021

I'm drifting back and forth between dozing and alertness which happens constantly now. I can't remember the last time I slept an entire night, nor can I remember the last time my throat didn't burn from thirst, and I could stomach anything but rare meat. I am changing into the very thing my parents want me to be, the perfect student, in training to be a healer, top of my class, vegetarian, and above all a vampire. I am giving up everything for them. I am going to live the rest of my life hiding from muggles, living in a magical because there is nothing more I can do.

Time, is all I want now. Time to be human with Rose, time to tell her I love her, time to enjoy things sixteen year olds do, time to embrace my abilities, and above all time to make decisions for myself. I have made a big mistake hiding my love from her for five years, never telling her how I feel. Something tells me though, that she would not listen even if I told her the truth. She wants a normal timeframe, we talked about life before and she nearly cried when I told her that I would live forever. "Ryan, I don't see how that can be an amazing life. Yes, you have forever, but what's forever when you have to hide. I want to die and move on, I have no idea what may happen to me afterwards, but at least I will have had a complete life, not one where I either have to I am, or drifting into the boring routine of life. Ryan you heard what they said, vampires never change, they never accept differences. They are stuck doing the same thing until they die, because the thought of changing it scares them. This is why you parents and relatives have gone to high school more times than you can count, this why they never complain. Ryan, I don't believe you want this life, but you need to see that for yourself." She told me that on summer holiday this past year. I had gone on my fifth hunt and came back proud of myself.

She looked at me with disgust, and told me so much more than her words. She hated what I was becoming; she was starting to become repulsed. It's not her fault though; she grew up knowing that one day she will die, while I grew up knowing that one day I will live forever. Nothing can change, we are forever going to be caught on two separate sides of the spectrum, me the predator, her my prey.

In the past five years I have grown, though remained unchanged. I am still bitter towards my parents; all they do is fill my mind with crap about how I should be proud I will be able to dedicate my life to helping others. They say that I should do good with my life. I am here forever, a life without giving back is a pointless one, I am told time and time again. I am starting to believe it. I have no other choice to believe them. If I choose to walk away then I am alone again, and this time I will lose everyone I have ever loved.

My mind quickly drifted back to the last summer. I spent it in Godric's Hollow at Harry's second home. He kept his house in London during the school year so Ginny was close to shopping and her friends from the ministry. Harry's house was a multistory brick home, it was much too large for his family of five, but since the Weasley kids often spent their summers there together it was the perfect size. My room there, which was deemed as my own my first year, was decorated in Slytherin colors, next to me where Albus and Scorpius. Across from me was Rose and most nights we ended up sleeping in the same supersized king bed.

This summer Al and Scorp finally admitted that they together. While it wasn't surprising to Rose and me, we could see it coming since second year, even one else shit a brick. I thought that Draco would have a coronary, but he returned back to pasty and smiled at his son. Harry just giggled and said "I knew I shouldn't have named you after Dumbledore." The rest of the Weasley's were upset because the two of them would be unable to have beautiful babies together.

Over the summer I couldn't escape the questions of changing. They wouldn't let the topic drop, and though I can't blame my extended family, I wish I could just get them to drop it. I am tired of the constant reminders.

* * *

I finally slipped into unconsciousness about three in the morning. I dreamt about what life would be like if I didn't have to worry about my impending change. I woke to the smell of lilies and fresh rain. "Rose, why are you in my bed?" I gently shook her awake as I stared at the perfect planes of her face, wanting so desperately to kiss her.

"I hate sleeping alone. All summer I had bodies pressing against me the entire I was sleeping, and now I am alone. I just feel so cold and lonely by myself."

"Why my bed though? Weren't Scorp and Al willing to share?" I teased.

"Honey, maybe I'd rather be curled next to someone who keeps me cool instead of warm, maybe the hardness of your body turns me on." She laughed in response to my comment. "Do you mind me sharing a bed with you? If you do I could crawl next to some other sap."

I gasped at her first comment and felt myself try to blush, "You are always welcome in my bed, clothing optional of course." I smiled towards her.

"Too, bad I already took you up on that offer," she told me as she got out of my bed in nothing but panties and my mom's old Pantera T-shirt. I inaudibly groaned, while taking in the sight of her long milky legs. "Ryan, are you ok. You look like you've seen Moldy Voldy."

I gulped as I tried to get my voice back, "I'm fine just wasn't expecting that. I am after all you only straight friend."

"Ooo, good point, I guess you like what you see," she told me as she left the room, making her way back to her own dormitory.

"You know she is in love with you right mate?" Albus called from the bed across the room, jolting Scorpius awake.

"Fuck, Babe do you think you can be a little quieter? I am trying to sleep here." Scorpius grumbled as he sat up.

"Sorry, but hey you need to get up anyway if you want some fresh fruit."

"You two are disgusting," I called to them as they started to kiss passionately. "I'm going to breakfast and we will finish this conversation later."

I made my way up to the great hall for breakfast, ignoring the couples that lined the corridors. Where did they all come from? Is this like the fates way of telling me that I am going to be alone until the day I die? I hate this, I know what I want and for the first time in my life I am not going to be able to get it. No amount of hard work and studying will get me Rose, the only thing I can do is change myself.

I walked into the great hall and took my seat at the designated Weasley/ Potter table. Since my first year they have gotten rid of the long house tables and replaced them with round ones that sat sixteen. They did this to promote house unity whatever that means, at least now we can all sit together without any worries. James was already at the table pulling out his leather bound Quidditch book. He was named team captain this year, and that was only going to make this year worse, he would constantly talk about the sport, leaving the rest of us to feign illness to escape him. He didn't even care that four members of his table were Slytherin's; he said family comes before house. Well, I think that was a half truth, we didn't care about it. I'd much rather work on my special project.

Rose came in a little while later, dressed in her typical tank top, skinny jeans, and converse. You couldn't get her out of her sneakers unless she was in a ball gown. "Hey Cullen, nice to see you when you are covered."

"I can't say the same thing towards you; I like it when you are in my bed half dressed!" I smiled coyly.

"You pervert, to bad you'll never get it." She smiled as she smacked my arm playfully. How can they think it's a possibility when she blatantly tells me no? Ugg, I hate women.

Scorp and Al stumbled in behind her, arm in arm, ignoring the looks they were receiving from their peers. Homosexuality still wasn't accepted fully by the older generation and younger kids often thought negatively about it. "Hey Ryan, you eating today?"

I looked at the food in front of me, and bit back a gag. I was slowly losing my humanity. "Nah, I'll go hunting later. Food is starting to repulse me."

"I bet I'm becoming appealing now, no creature can resist the allure of Albus Potter." Al shouted out earning eye rolls from Scorp, James, Dom, Lily, Hugo and the rest of the clan.

"I bet I can," I muttered.

"Al, you know he's not into you, he likes someone a little more feminine and red haired. I highly doubt you could get his venom flowing." Scorp said to the table causing me to blush, Rose had got up to go speak to Harry, so she missed the conversation.

"Hell, guys. Can't you make subtle hints when she is actually at our table? I do want her to know that I like her." I murmured.

"See we could do that bro, but it's much more fun watching you struggle. I guarantee if you tell her she will feel the same way." Al told me gazing at Scorpius, I honestly feel like hurling now.

Rose made her way back to us looking smug, "Ryan, Harry and Luna want to meet with us after breakfast. You two can come as well because I'm assuming it will affect all of us. "

"What did you talk to him about Rose?" I asked trying to get something out of her; I even tried to break into her mind. It was filled with images of me in my bed fully asleep mumbling about her. Great, see she knew and she wasn't interested, how could my friends be so dense?

"You'll see," she sang out before piling bacon eggs and toast onto her plate. She offered some to me, but I declined, not being able to stomach the idea.

Under the table she brushed against me, causing me to shudder. I can't take her games anymore; I have had it up to my eyeballs with her sick little games. She could love me, I know it's possible, but there is that bigger part of me that thinks that she could be playing me like a violin. She has never made a move more than slight flirting. I haven't either, but I can get away without telling her I love her. She needs to do something to let me know that I am on her mind and in her heart.

I watched her eat, almost noticing the blood pulse under her pale cheek. I could smell her blood, could taste her in the air, and I wanted nothing more than to get closer. I reached under the table and grabbed her hand. I smiled at her, willing her to understand my gesture, but she just blushed and spread jam on her toast. How can I make her see?

They ate in silence and I sulked with my hand on Rose's knee and my mind on her body. True I loved her, but I was also a sixteen year old male. I wondered what she would look like telling me she loved me, a smile on her face that could rival the brightness and warmth of the sun. I locked eyes with her only for her to turn away from me.

The finished quickly, and we made our way towards Harry's office. It was weird to see him at work, because he was constantly trying to be professional, Luna wasn't much better. She always had a dreamy far away look on her face, which told you she knew what you were going to do next. Ugg, I hate my skills not being useful.

"Welcome kids." Harry greeted us warmly. "I suppose you wonder why you are here."

We all nodded and Al rolled his eyes.

"I have some good news for you four. If you want it to be this can be your last year at Hogwarts. You will be more the capable of taking your NEWTS at the end of the year and I know your projects are nearing completion. There is no point for you to postpone your futures longer than necessary when you are more than capable of achieving them this year. If you would like it, I am offering the four of you the opportunity to graduate a year ahead of schedule."

Rose lit up and started to smile, "Of course Uncle Harry. I would love to graduate early." She looked towards me waiting for my answer.

"Sure, why not?"

"Hell, ya," Al and Scorp said together.

"This is great news; I will talk to your teachers and get a plan laid out. By the way Rose and Ryan you are now head boy and girl. No one in seventh year seemed fit enough for the part, the elves will be bringing your stuff to your dorm shortly. Take today off and tomorrow you will return to your classes. Ryan I am assuming you have something to ask me."

"Harry, I need some werewolf saliva for my project. It needs to be from a full wolf, but I'm unsure of how to get it. Can you give me some help?" I asked the man who had become more like family then my own.

"I'll look and see what I can round up, guys go on have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Harry dismissed us with a twinkle in his eye.

"Wow, Head Girl, I'm not even a seventh year I have to tell my mom," Rose shouted as soon as we left the office.

My parents won't care I thought to myself, and Hermione probably already knows. My parents love me of course, but they are so irritating. They constantly want what they have decided for me, not what I want for myself. The job I want is that of an Auror, I want to fight crime. I want to bring some good into the world, not be constantly telling a family that their child has dragon pox.

I sulked my way to the Head dorm, and went inside. It was decorated in deep green and silver. A large fireplace sat in the middle of the main room, and a staircase was on either side of the mantle. A sign hung above each staircase, engraved with our names. Both staircases were carpeted in emerald and led to our sleeping areas. My room contained a king bed that could rival the one at Harry's, cherry wood furniture, and a white marble bathroom, accented with silver and green. The room was perfect.

A squeal from the portrait brought me stumbling down the stairs, "isn't this amazing Ryan. We have our own space, and no one can get in unless we want them to. You want to have a party tonight?" She asked me looking hopeful.

I nodded towards her squealed again. Party time.

* * *

"Al do we seriously need six bottles of firewhiskey? Scorp and Rose are total lightweights, and it will just be the four of us. The rest of the cousins are too busy playing Quidditch to even ask about coming." I yelled at my almost cousin when he stumbled into the room carrying more booze then we could ever drink.

"Hey don't judge the bottle, that's vertiserum, that one's polyjuice potion, two are firewhiskey and the rest are pumpkin juice."

"So you put pumpkin juice in an alcohol bottle, ya that makes sense. Seriously, are you that daft?"

"No I thought ahead, see if I would have gotten caught with the polyjuice potion I would have gotten in more trouble than I would have with alcohol, and besides if I would have put the alcohol in a pumpkin juice flask, then they would have smelled everything and I would have gotten busted anyway." I swear he smoked something before he came here.

"Are you aware that you have the Marauder's Map as well as the Head Boy and Girl on your side? You could have checked the map for your dad, and we are in here all night, Christ Al did you smoke something? And if you did why didn't you share?" I asked him while doing a manly fist pound.

"O crap, I didn't even think about that." He replied laughing, depositing his bottles on my coffee table.

"And you are on an advanced curriculum why?"

"Because what I lack in street smarts I make up for in book smarts," He laughed as Scorpius stumbled in followed by Rose.

Rose looked amazing. She had dressed up for the occasion, wearing a short black skirt with black leggings and a black spaghetti strap shirt. Her hair was straight and cut short, very Hailey from an early 2000's band. I guess she was getting in touch with her inner rock star.

"Rose you look amazing, but why did you cut your hair? I thought you would never cut it off."

"I was just tired with the length, I couldn't do anything with it anyways, and I'm too lazy. Now all I need to do is wash and wear. You look great too Ryan, is that a new shirt?"

I was wearing my Kings of Leon shirt and Lucky jeans. Whenever I wore them, it seemed like no girl could resist me. I was hoping that I could work some magic on my girl tonight and finally make her realize that I was her forever. "Ya, what can I say I love my music," boy was that true. I threw a fit until Harry made my iPod work in the castle.

She laughed and made her way to the couch and raised her eyebrows at the table. I shrugged and pointed towards the newly busy Albus. I swear if they kept up the way they were, they would be lipless by the end of the semester. My girl laughed again and started sniffing bottles.

"Hey, what games did you want to play tonight?" She clapped to gain the lovers attention.

"You are such a cock block, how about never have I ever and truth or dare. Hell that's why I brought what I brought." Albus replied before going back to Scorpius's face. It's enough to turn me homophobic.

Rose growled and grabbed our shot glasses out of the box we hid beneath the couch. She also grabbed an eyedropper for the vertiserum. Lovely I swear I am going to choose dare all night.

"Gather round boys; let's get this show on the road!" Rose squealed as she lined up shot glasses and filled them with amber liquid. I always win at these games because by the end I am the only sober. Try to see me make an ass out of myself.

"Hey, where's my glass?" I asked looking for my Las Vegas shot glass. In its place I noticed a juice cup, o hell she caught on to my enhanced tolerance to alcohol.

"It's not fair that your tolerance is higher so I took the liberty of getting you a larger cup; enjoy getting drunk with the rest of us. To make it up to you though, you can go first."

"Fine, assholes. Never have I ever made out with a male." Eat that bitches. They all took a shot wincing at the burn.

"Never have I ever drained the blood out of an animal," Scorpius said giving me his typical smirk, o you butt. I drained my cup and immediately felt a little buzz, great why did I have to have such smart and sadistic friends.

* * *

After an hour of playing never have I ever, the group got bored and poured vertiserum into a glass. "Ok you guys know the rules; you can switch truth for dare and vice versa at anytime, however you must do either the truth or the dare. There are the rules Rose you go first," Scorp told her slurring his words.

"Ok Al, I dare you to turn on Single Ladies and do the dance." Al was so drunk he didn't even ask for the other options. He searched through my iPod, found the song and did the worst rendition of a Beyonce dance I had ever seen.

"That was invigorating," he said when the song completed. "Ryan, what are your true feelings for Rose." He asked, holding out the eyedropper with the vertiserum in it.

I tried to figure out a way around it, "Dare please." I said looking at the ground. I couldn't tell her that, I didn't want her to know.

"Fine easy enough, kiss her." I almost got up and slapped him. How could he do this to me? I can't just kiss her; I want my first kiss to be special, not some dare that my so called friends imposed on me.

"Ryan, its fine. If it's easier go ahead. I don't mind, plus I want to see what you feel like against me." She said wiggling her hips and moving forward. O hell here goes nothing.

I put my hand behind her head, and then tilted her chin up. Inaudibly I said, "Rose I love you," and kissed her with as much passion as I could muster. I placed my lips to hers, moving in sync, before I asked for entrance with my tongue. She nibbled my lip, then opened her mouth and met my tongue with full force. We battled for dominance and she started to lean back. I felt myself grow hard as I leaned in on top her. When her back was fully on the floor I heard a clap from behind me.

I ignored the clapping for about a minute before I felt a strong arm pull me off my girl and throw me into the wall. I caught my breath and met eyes with a very happy Albus. "Dude, you could've just kissed her cheek."

I looked at Rose whose face was still flushed and tried to smile, but I was too embarrassed. What would have happened if they wouldn't have been in the room? How far would I have gone? I shuttered when I thought about it and grabbed the full bottle of firewhiskey off the table. I gulped it down trying to hide my embarrassment. "I'm done." I told them as I guzzled some more.

"Suit yourself," Scorpius told me as he looked at Rose. "Where the hell is my dare?"

The game went on for a few hours, the highlight being Scorp and Al taking the polyjuice potion and trying to turn themselves on. They were so clueless. After that Rose and I headed upstairs to escape the porn show that was about to ensue.

"Night Ryan," she said as she kissed my cheek, and bolted up her staircase.

I stumbled into mine and pulled out my cell phone. "Mom, I am an idiot."

"Baby, what's going on?" She asked clearly caring about what I needed.

"I fucking kissed her. I kissed her hard, and I don't think she wanted me too. Mom why I am such an idiot?"

"Son, if she didn't want you to then why did she let you? You need to tell Rose how you feel and be done with it. Seriously, you are giving me a headache with all this teen angst. God what would your father say."

"He would probably tell me to run away as fast as I could to prevent anything from harming her. Do not tell him anything, he doesn't s deserve to know." I mumbled earning a sigh of frustration.

"Can't you forgive him? It's not like he is doing anything wrong now. He is completely dedicated to us." She replied getting angry.

"The fact is he did it, and showed no signs of change, fuck mom last year he wouldn't let me go to Uncle Harry's because he thought it was dangerous. I am tired of him mom, he needs to get over himself."

"Ryan if are just calling me because you are drunk and want to bash your father, fine but I am not going to listen to it. You need to get better about this whole drunk dialing thing anyway. And I could tell you were drunk the moment you picked up the phone."

"I'm going to bash him," I answered stubbornly.

"Fine have a good night and enjoy your hangover." She told me as she hung up the phone. Now I officially have no one to talk to. I picked up the bottle and continued to drown my sorrows.

Line Break

"I never drinking again," I said the next morning with my head buried in a toilet.

"Fuck Ryan, how much did you drink?" Scorp said as he made his way to my room, not hung over at all, dick."

"I don't know, look at the table." I gagged into the toilet again. "Winky," I called.

'Yes, young master. What can Winky do for you?"

"Bring me a hangover potion, make it double strength. Hurry please." I asked her before leaning again the counter. I am never drinking again.

"Ryan, you downed five bottles? How the fuck is that even possible? I hope you enjoy your hangover, not even a potion will completely cure this one. Fuck dude, just tell her you love her already and get it over with.' He yelled at me making my head hurt.

"Tell who? Ryan holy hell it stinks in here. Did you drink the entire Hog's Head?" Rose said as she walked into my room, avoiding the spilled whiskey, and puddles of vomit. Apparently I blacked out and turned my room into a frat house.

"Scorgify, Ryan drink this, augmenti,' she said pointing at a glass she brought with her. She turned on my shower and levitated me inside. "I am going to kill you for doing this to yourself, how could you be so stupid," she ranted for a little while longer making my head hurt even more. God she needed to shut up, I know it's stupid, I know it's ridiculous, but it made me feel better. At least I think it did I can't remember much about last night besides stumbling upstairs.

Winky returned with my hangover potion which I downed in one swing, "Disgusting I murmured from my place at the bottom of the tub. "Serves you right," Rose said kicking Scorp out.

"Ryan do you need help getting those clothes off?" I nodded and she waved her wand. I was standing before her naked and she didn't even care. I just wanted the pain in my head to subside. "Ok, if you think you can manage without fainting I am going to leave now. Brush your teeth and wash yourself well, after you leave that tub all the vomit must be off your body. We have projects today."

"Yay," I said sarcastically. I stood up and started to wash the sweat and nastiness from my body.

* * *

"Someone looks a bit hung over this morning," Professor Malfoy sneered at me as I made my way to my project.

Hogwarts started projects the year after Harry left. They stated that every student should be able to prove themselves while still in school. My project was a potion to provide vampires the ability to reproduce. I had kept it a secret from everyone but my teachers and Rose. Most kids did though, it was a big secret that was only unveiled when it was completed.

"Shove it Malfoy, I'm not in the mood for your shit today." I told my professor as I started to look over the potion.

"Normally I would take five points from Slytherin, but today I am going to let it slide, you seem a little stressed kid what's going on." He got a concerned look on his face and took the seat across from me.

"The usual, asshole dad, a girl who wants nothing to do with me, and the icing on the cake is my impending immortality. I just want to drown my sorrows in a bottle of whiskey and never look back."

"Looks like you've already done that. Kid, you need to look at life in a more positive light. I mean ya all those things kind of suck, but Ryan you are too brilliant to let those things bring you down. Be strong and things will work out for you. You may be surprised at what can happen in a few short months." Draco told me as he pulled Rose's project from the storage cabinet. She refused to tell me what it was; she said she would die first.

I shrugged at him and got to work, feeling my hangover start to fade and a human hunger overpower me. Rose walked gracefully into the room and placed eggs and bacon on my table giving me a smile, "You know Ryan you truly are a great kisser." She then got to work and left me staring at her new haircut. God, I loved that girl.

* * *

**End Notes- Ok so here is the introduction to a sixteen year old Ryan. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to hear some feedback. I know Ryan is a little bit emo and angry, but he is going through a lot. Please stick with me and you won't be disappointed. Ryan needs to grow and this is his journey. O a quick question, any guesses to what Rose's project is? If you get it right you get a shout out in my next chapter.**


	5. Plans

**Plans- Song **_**Revelry **_**Kings of Leon**

* * *

"Cullen, what was I just talking about?" Harry yelled at me during DADA. I was staring at the back of Rose's head wondering what it would smell like under my chin. Harry was blocking his thoughts from me to prove a point that I should have been paying attention to him instead of my dream girl.

"With all due respect Mr. Potter I don't think I need to pay much attention today's topic, being I am half and was raised by vampires. But you were just saying that once a vampire bites its prey it is almost impossible to break the frenzy." I told him smirking.

"Very well Mr. Cullen, although maybe you will learn more about how you need to go about finishing your project." He smiled at me, launching into the next part of his lecture. For some reason Rose was on the edge of her seat scribbling notes. You'd figure she knew all this stuff, I mean she has spent every waking moment with me for five years.

I rolled my eyes and continued to daydream about Rose. She had a look on her face that screamed that she was concentrating on something.

"Ryan, stay after class. I have someone I want you to meet." Harry told me as I gather my bag to follow the bouncy head of red hair out of the room.

"Ugg, fine," I answered him returning to my seat, waiting for the point deduction and detention. I know that's what being mouthy always gets me. I just need to learn to keep it shut.

Harry left the room for a few minutes leaving me to count the patterns in the ceiling. When he came back his sweet smell was diluted by the smell of wet dog, even worse than that of Teddy. I looked and saw an insanely tall, tan skinned man, who smelled like a dirty dog park. I immediately started to growl and bare my teeth.

"Easy there son, I'm not going to hurt you. You do smell worse though than you did when you were younger. I'm Jacob Black and I'm your godfather." O come on, seriously it's like the fates are out to get me. I am a one of a kind magical vampire who is in love with his very human best friend, I hate my dad, and now my godfather is a freaking werewolf. I don't even remember my mom talking about him. I guess my dad had something to do with that, or he pissed her off.

"And you are here to walk back into my life just like he did. Lovely, just so you know I am not going to welcome you back with open arms. You left us; you are just as bad as him."

Jacob's face contorted with rage. He grabbed me by my neck and forced me into the wall. I was pinned against it, trying to get the minimal oxygen that my body needed. I wanted to call for help, but my mom was out of range and Rose would think I was messing around. "I am nothing like him. I tried, and what she may not have told you is that she cut me out. I fought against everything that happened to be what you needed me to be, but your mom never let me. Stop being such a spoiled brat and listen to me." His grip got harder and I decided to call out to Rose, at least someone could get a message to run and help me. "I am not here to ask you to accept me back as your godfather, though that would be nice. I am here to help you with your project. I was told by Harry that you needed werewolf saliva, and the only way to get it is from one of my kind. Now keep your mouth shut or I am going to have to compare you to your father." Jacob yelled at me as Rose ran into the room.

"Get your hands off him!" She screamed.

Jacob released me and I slid to floor coughing and gagging, feeling my eyes go black. "Sorry little lady, you must be Rose. I was just telling Mr. Cullen here that I am here to help with the projects you two are working on. At least I was before he compared me to the piece of shit father that he has. I'm Jacob Black," Jacob told Rose as he extended a hand towards her.

She bypassed his hand and mass of muscle to run to my side. She tried to help me in any way she could, which just led to cradling me to her chest. I could hear her heartbeat, her breathing; I turned my head into her, and immersed myself in her. I lost most everything that was happening around me except for her voice.

"Black, you are lucky I don't curse the furry gene out of you right now! You are never to touch Ryan again, and if you do I will be sure that you end up six feet under." She hissed, "Ryan calm down."

Already done my lady. For knowing what she was facing she was actually really good at containing the panic I could feel running through her. You go girl. I took my head away from her chest and looked at Jacob. He was calm again and looked like he was mad at himself, good he should be.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. I'm just touchy about being compared to him. I mean he left your mom after he got her pregnant, then he waltzes back into her life and everything is suddenly ok. Your mom never forgave me for what I did and I never truly left her. I even turned my back on Leah to go back to her, but she was already gone. Please, try to understand Ryan; she left me before I could even get a chance to find myself. I have always loved you and your mom; I just didn't get my chance to prove it." He pleaded with me and I couldn't help but listen.

True he did leave us, but for some reason it felt different then when my dad left. Jacob left because my mom couldn't deal with his new girl; he left at my mom's request. He seemed genuine about it; maybe I should give him a chance. I untangled myself from Rose's arms and stood up to face him like a man, "You have one shot Jacob. You fuck this up, and I will never let you in my life again." I told him as I picked Rose up from the ground and headed towards our dormitory.

"Ryan, you are seriously going to give him a shot after five minutes? It has taken years for you to even get to a point with your father where you can stand to be in the same room as him. Why is Jacob different?" She yelled as I pulled her along.

I stopped and pressed her into a wall, "You want to know what's different about him Rose?" I told her. She nodded looking scared, "He let me go, trusting me to come back." I left her standing there as I walked away.

* * *

**Rose's POV**

Every step he took away from caused my heart to break a little more. I hated hurting him; I hated hiding my feelings from him. I loved him more than I thought possible, and here I am telling him through my actions that we could never be together.

I want to love him, I want him to hold me nightly and kiss away the pain of the day, but it won't happen. He is becoming something I do not agree with, I will not sacrifice my life to live like him. An eternity of a half life could never compare to a few decades of a full life, even if it means turning my back on my soul mate. The worse part about the whole thing is that they know how I feel, Al and Scorp weaseled it out of me while Ryan was gone on a hunting trip.

They told me to make a move, but they don't understand. I can't be with him only to him that in a few months we can no longer be together. I can't hurt him like that. My best hope is my potion. My potion if made correctly will stop the change in its tracks. It's selfish, I know, but it is the only way to be with the person I love.

Ryan turned the corner and smiled at me a little, before continuing out to the courtyard. I let out the breath I was holding and made my way to the dormitory. I felt the tears begin to flow freely and did nothing to stop them. There was no point. I wanted to cry over him, I wanted to scream and let whatever god there was know what he was doing to me.

"Rosie, you need to stop doing this to yourself, just go to him." Al told me as I entered my dormitory.

I ignored him and continued to my bedroom. "He loves you too; he would give up anything for you. Please give him a chance even if it just until June."

"Look, I am doing what is best for both of us. If we were to get together for a few months, we would spend the rest of our lives dreaming about what could have been. I am not going to spend my life wondering where Ryan is and who he's doing! Just fucking drop it." I turned and screamed at him.

"It would be worse if you don't, it is better to love and lose then to never love at all." He used the old quote as he finally left me alone. Good riddance cousin.

When I got to my room I noticed a piece of parchment on my pillow. I unfolded it and read:"**Rose, give him a shot. It is better to have a few months of true happiness then a lifetime of wondering what could have been. Think about your happiness, and what would happen if you never see him again. You would want those few months to go back on and cherish. Love Mom." **

* * *

Ryan's POV

"Mom, what the hell happened between you and Jacob? Why didn't you tell me he was my godfather?" I yelled at her while destroying a violet.

"I never thought it would matter. You were so young when we left and he was too wrapped up in himself to ever notice we were leaving, plus there was the whole Leah thing. It just didn't matter; he gave up his godfather duties the second he chose her." She told me, causing me to sigh in frustration.

"So you never looked for him, never went back to him? I'm sure that he wouldn't have left you like my sperm donor did."

"Don't talk about your father like that, and I didn't want to impose on his new life. He seemed happy."

"Maybe you should talk to him about that," I yelled into my phone, throwing it at a tree. My phone shattered, leaving a mechanical dusting at Scorp's feet.

"Damn bro, I'm happy that wasn't me." He commented, sitting in the grass Indian style next to me. He picked up a lily and started to pick it apart. He was completely silent, which was odd because I knew he took the seat next to me to talk about something.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, "What do you want?"

"You need to get with Rose," he told as if he were commenting on the weather.

"Sorry, that's not going to happen. She doesn't want me." I told him sighing.

"You never know until you try," he got up and left me alone again, dropping the lily petals in my lap.

I looked them over trying to make sense out of what he said. She has told me time and time again that she wants a human. Could she like me? It just doesn't make sense I am unsure of if I should even try.

* * *

**End Notes- Sorry this chapter is so short I will try to make the next one longer. I will try to have it posted sometime soon!**


	6. Falling Slowly

Chapter Song- Falling Slowly The Frames

* * *

"You have to ask her." Scorpius complained in my ear.

"She won't say yes. She wants nothing to do with me after that last drinking escapade where I ripped her shirt." We ended up drinking again and I fell into her pulling her shirt with me as I went. Needless to say Rose was pissed after that one.

"You never know, she may just have been embarrassed, though I'll never know why. Two gay guys have no interest in her red lacy bra, plus you lived with her and have seen it before. You were drunk too." He tried to encourage me. Sorry bro not going to happen this time.

"She won't talk to me. She hasn't sought me out since that night and she normally follows me everywhere." I mentioned to him, trying to shut up my blonde haired friend.

"That's probably because you are too busy getting acquainted with Jacob. I've never seen you suck up to a teacher like that before." Scorp joked as I continued ruffling through my armoire. I needed the perfect outfit, something that would cause her to notice me. "Plus she has been working non-stop on her project whatever the hell it is. Every time you are not with Jake, she is. It's like you two have made him your new best friend."

I finally found what I was looking for, a white tank top, dark wash jeans, and a black button up that would not be buttoned up. My goal was to look like walking sex. She couldn't resist me when I looked like this. "He is my godfather and I want to get to know him. It's not my fault my mom decided that it would be better to look for my own father then to stay with one that would actually care about me." I quickly pulled on the outfit, knowing he had turned around.

"Jesus, can look anymore like Adonis. With that outfit you are going to get more than just Rose to notice you." I shrugged and laced up my Doc Martian's. "So why is Jake the Care of Magical Creatures teacher? What happened to Hagrid?"

"Hagrid decided that it was time to retire and travel the world with Madame Maxine, though I'm guessing he will be back when he sees what he needs to see. He will get sick of living like a gypsy and come back to his job. He loves it here too much." I replied getting off the bed and grabbing my wallet. Since the time when Harry was at school they had brought about debit cards tied directly to vaults. This made it easier for Muggleborns to adapt and it also made it so we didn't have to hide heavy money sacks in our robes.

"Ok, then so are you going to ask her?" He nagged, finally getting on my last nerve.

"Fine, I'll ask her. If she shoots me down I am blaming you."

"It's just Hogsmede; you guys have gone on your own like a hundred times before. And I can guarantee that she isn't mad you. She has just been busy." He told me hopping off my bed. "Ugg, how can your hair be so perfect just by rolling out of bed in the morning? I wish I was a damn half vampire."

"No you don't. Hey where's Al? He is normally in here every morning." I questioned, looking for Mini Potter.

"He's being Al working to create a cure for werewolf bites. So far it's not working. Anyway, he will join me later in the village. I am going to buy his birthday present first, you only turn seventeen once." Scorpius stated. "Now get going, she will be at our normal table. O and forget your jacket, it's not like you will need it."

I walked out of the room, trying to keep a human pace. It was hard to keep from rushing when I just wanted to get the ultimate rejection over with. She would never say yes to anything resembling a date after she found out that I liked her. Before it was all fun and games, now she has to deal with the fact that I am in love with her. That night sucked, stupid Vertiserum, and of course I had to trip and rip clothes off her perfect body right after. It's amazing she is still living in the same quarters as me.

The hall was packed with kids waiting for nine to roll around so they could be free from the school for a few hours. I saw her sitting by herself at the end of table picking at her eggs. I smiled and was immediately at her side smiling. "Need some cheese?" I asked stupidly.

Her face lit up and I swear she looked just like she had gotten a puppy on Christmas morning. "Ryan, I thought you died! I haven't seen you in weeks, what have you been doing? I guess you have been working on your potion. You look amazing by the way." She said excitedly, launching herself into my arms, I guess Scorp was right.

"I've just been busy, you look great too. So I have a question for you-"

"I would love to go to Hogsmede with you. I don't see why you even bothered asking, and yes I am fine with going alone, we've done it before haven't we?" She stated looking around the hall for something. "I assume it's time for your bi-weekly human food. Here I made you a plate."

She had given me some scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage. I guess she knew that there was no way that I was going to anything that didn't come from an animal. "If you were anyone else I would yell at you for not eating something good for you, but since you are adapting to a new way of life I'm not going to lay into you." She grinned throwing her perfectly curled hair behind her shoulder.

I ate quickly, without anymore conversation. After every bite I couldn't help but to look at Rose, just to see the smile on her face. I hate how I can get so confused, I thought she was mad at me, but I guess it was just a huge misunderstanding. I guess I have failed women 101. It's time to call in Aunt Alice.

Of course she saw me and sent a text stating to meet her tonight at the edge of the forbidden forest. I chuckled to myself and stood up, reaching for Rose's hand. "Ready to go raise some hell?" She rolled her eyes and we headed out to the door.

Filch was guarding it. He was still here after all these decades and I couldn't see him leaving anytime soon. He was old and completely arthritis ridden, of course this made him even less personable. He refused to take any medication to get himself somewhat mobile again, shouting that it was weakness and took it upon himself to make my life a living hell. I guess he was just jealous, either that or he was mad about the time I saved him from breaking a hip. "Cullen" he huffed. "Weasley." He checked our names off on a piece of paper and then ushered us out the door.

"So, my beautiful flower what do you want to do today?"

"I want to get some new robes and then I want to find a present for Al. You know the entire family will be meeting at his house on the second. You can come too, I'm sure Harry will let you." She was almost begging me to say yes.

"Of course I'll come, I know my mom will say yes, and even if she doesn't Alice can give me permission." I told her grinning slightly and matching her pace. She linked her arm with mine and we continued to walk down the path. She leaned into me, causing my heart to sing. With her head on my arm and her occasional content sighs I felt at home, and knew that nothing could ever bring me down.

* * *

"Rose seriously, I can't tell the difference between the black and pitch black. They both look amazing on you, so can you just choose the one you want already?" I told her as she held up two robes that looked exactly the same.

"But they are for school and I don't know what ones are appropriate. They said black." Those are black. I thought.

"Rose Weasley you have been at Hogwarts for five years, and you are just now having an issue with finding robes. For Merlin's sake go with the pitch black, and let's go find Al something."I told her laughing.

"What are you getting?"

"What else do you buy your gay best friend? Clothes, green goes great with his eyes."

"Who is sounding gay now," she commented moving to men's section. "What about this?" She held up a couple of green silk button downs.

"Those will work; I'm going to get him some jeans since you stole my idea." I lightly pushed her shoulder causing her to blush.

Al would defiantly love his presents. The only other thing I could get him is books, and Scorp had that front covered. Plus Al cared little of Muggle technology; otherwise I would buy him an iPod.

"Where to now?" I turned to Rose.

"How about The Hogshead, I am not in the mood for crowded places." I put a little distance between us as we left so the combination of the October wind and my cool body temperature wouldn't chill her. There was a slight breeze that seemed to play with her hair, making her rosy cheeks even more noticeable. Rose was glowing.

"So Ryan, would you like to go to the Halloween ball with me?" She stated like she was asking about the weather, little excitement. It was almost like she was asking because she had too, not because she wanted to.

"You seem excited about it." I commented lightly, trying to break her melancholy mood.

"Oh, sorry. I do want to go with you; I just don't want to go in general. I hate these social functions, which is why I have avoided them like the plague for the past five years. It's so pointless; if I want to dance I can dance in my dormitory the way I want to, without a teacher telling me that it's to risqué. But since my mom is forcing me to go so that she can get some photos from my school time without my nose in a potions pot, I need to go. So I am asking one more time otherwise I am going with Mike Finnegan, will you be my date to the only school social event that I am ever attending?" She explained.

"Putting it that way," I paused making her nervous. "Of course I'll go with you. We need to get these guys jealous with our dancing styles."

I downed my drink and held my hand to her, helping her out of the chair. In my head all I could think about is how much I loved her.

* * *

**End Notes- Here ends another chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it! The next chapter will cover Ryan's hunting trip with Alice and the following one will cover the ball, or might just combine them. Who knows? I am trying to get better about updating, but with my chaotic life it gets hard sometimes. **

**O and another thing, I am working on an original story, if you want to follow it just click on the fiction press link on my page. **


	7. Consuming Me

Consuming Me

Chapter Soundtrack- Pitbull I Know You Want Me, The Fray- Syndicate, Metro Station- Shake it, Dashboard Confessional- Vindicated

* * *

"Ryan," The little pixie screamed when she saw me scaring away all the wildlife that was in our area. I started to chuckle as she continued to dance around me. "You have grown so little. Plus you are starting to smell like a vampire. It's weird because you have this weird spiritual smell around you too." She commented, becoming overcome with a vision. Her mind was blocked so I couldn't see it.

"Allie, I need help. I love her; I want her to be with me forever. She however thinks that I am a demon. She hates my way of life and refuses to become like me. I have no other option then pretend and be whatever she wants me to be. It's like I am tearing myself apart. I want her so bad, I would do anything to be with her, but now I am almost starting to resent her for forcing me to change. What can I do?" I asked my aunt falling to my knees, venom tears falling from my eyes.

"Everything will work out for you. Look at your mom, she was alone and depressed for years before she found your father again. Also I know you hate bringing him up. I can understand that you are angry with him, but life is too short to live dwelling on the past. Yes we are vampires and we do not have a natural life cycle, but still it can be cut short at any moment. Live for the future, do you really want to spend your life hating him for doing what he thought was right? Do you hate Jasper for attacking your mom? Do you hate your mom for leaving Forks and taking you away from your home? No you don't, forgive him. Love him, he has more in common with you then you think." She yelled at me as we took off running into the woods.

"I will only do what Rose wants me to do." I murmured under my breath, taking down a deer.

"You should do so much more than that. Right now she wants you to be her best friend, and have feelings for her but not act on them. At the dance what you need to do is show how much you love her. Do not rest on being her friend, pull her in hold her close and ask what she wants, and if you don't like the answer show her what you want." Alice said to me mentally and bolted into the forest leaving me standing with more questions than I had to start with.

* * *

I finished pulling on my boots and smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I looked down at my outfit and felt myself grow giddy. While I loved dressing like a wizard in day to day life, when it came to formal events I preferred a suit and tie. Tonight my suit was a smoky grey, a blinding white dress shirt, and a blood red tie. My hair had some mousse in it so it would hold the bed head look all night, and my feet had brand new Doc Martin's on them. I knew I looked good, and I knew that no girl could resist me, except for the one that I wanted.

This year's theme was "Midnight Masquerade," so very Muggle high school prom. The title made me laugh at the lack of creativity, but a mask would help heighten the curiosity I could feel off of everyone even her. My mask was the same color red as my tie. My skin had yet to take on the full waxy look that all adult vampires have so I knew that I looked good. I just hoped she would notice.

As I started to pace the room waiting for the clock to charm seven my thoughts drifted back to a conversation that I had with Rose the night before, "So Rose, are you excited for tomorrow?" I asked her smiling at her grimace.

"NO!" She screamed. "I am only going because my mom is forcing me too. The only reason why I am even the slightest bit excited is the fact that I get to wear a mask. Granted everyone will know it's me because I am the only Weasley with curly red hair. Also I love my dress, I hope you like it too!"

"I know I will. I hope you like seeing me in something other than robes and band t-shirts." I laughed, feeling her happiness consume me. In that moment I knew I would do whatever I had to do to fight for that girl. I would show Rose how much I loved her, no matter what way it turned out.

The clock rang out, causing me to jump out of my memories. I quickly made my way out of the stairs and started to pace again, waiting for Rose to make an appearance. My shoes clicked on every tile, and I felt my heart begin to race. I knew what I had to do; I had to make her realize what she wanted

Fifteen minutes of pacing later I heard a heel on the marble. I looked up and saw the most gorgeous creature that I had ever laid eyes on. Rose was wearing a black dress with cutouts on the hips, and very little fabric on the back. It framed her body perfectly, leaving everything but nothing to the imagination. I adjusted myself and looked into eyes that shone through her mask. Her mask was black with silver accents to match her dress. Her hair was perfectly curled into tight spirals and it was half up. The girl was too damn beautiful for her own good.

"I thought I would go all out, and of course I picked out a dress that isn't exactly mother approved, just to spite the woman." I gawked at her.

"You look like a fallen angel." I blurted out without thinking. Sometimes I really needed to stick my foot in my mouth.

"Thank you I guess. I was going more for unobtainable sex kitten, but fallen angel works too. I assume it's the cutouts. You don't look half bad yourself; you look like you always do. You are the fallen angel," she said as she took my arm. "Escort me and beat away the spectators." She smiled as she led us out of the quarters we shared.

Line BreakThe hall was crowded with couples; all were either dancing or mingling over the mystery punch that had already been spiked. I lead Rose to the middle of the dance floor, and started to dance to the music, just my luck it was I Know You Want Me by Pitbull. Rose loved to dance to Muggle hip-hop, and she naturally forced me to dance with her. The girl could move like there was nothing else. She grinded against me causing my eyes to roll into the back of my head. I needed a distraction, something to take my mind off the gorgeous girl moving like walking sex.

As I finished trying to focus on something other than Rose's body, Albus came up to me dressed in a simple black suit. "Hey guys," he shouted over the music, "Looking like a celebrity Rose, o wait you are one." He chuckled.

Rose smiled at him and continued to grind against me. I felt my hands ghost over her bare skin, and I held back the urge to spin her around to kiss her. This girl would be mine. "This will probably be all over the papers tomorrow, young Weasley with mystery guy," Scorpius commented as he appeared at Al's side. He was wearing a white suit, making the two of them look like polar opposites. It was an amazing effect. "How the hell have you avoided the press Ryan? I'm sure that they would jump on you like flies on a dead chicken. I mean you're a half vampire, a top Hogwarts student, and you hang out with the Golden trio. I need to learn your secrets."

"It all comes from not wanting to be shot, and the vampire intimidation," I struggled to get out, still swaying with Rose.

"Well I guess we will leave you two alone," Al commented at my expression and then turned to whisper something in Scorp's ear. I rolled my eyes as they walked away snickering.

The song ended and Rose turned to me smiling, "I hope they like that," she commented as she flipped off a camera. The next song started to play, and to my relief it was Syndicate by The Fray. I pulled her into my arms as we slow danced together, I couldn't help but sing in her ear,

"Baby close your eyes,

Don't open till the morning light

Baby don't forget,

You haven't lost it all yet

Don't know what you're made of,

Till the one thing that you want

To come in with the dawn and it suddenly changes

Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same

But all we've lost to the flame,"

I felt her fall into me, as I missed a few lines barely getting one more out trying to get her to understand that I loved her. I needed her to know that I loved her, and wanted her. "Baby don't forget, we haven't lost it all yet."

She snuggled against my neck, and smell of rain washed over me. I kissed her head as the song ended and started to play into the next one. Shake It by Metro Station started to blast through the speakers, and we started to jump around like the crazed teenagers we were. Rose's smile proved to me that even though she would never admit it she was having a brilliant time.

"Want something to drink?" asked my girl after a couple more songs.

"Sure, just be sure it's not spiked. I need hydration not to get drunk." She quickly said back to me, and went back to dancing. God I loved that girl.

I made my way to the punch bowl and smelled everything on the table; it seemed like the only thing that smelled alcohol free was the bottled water that had remained untouched. I took a step back to survey the room as I felt Harry approach me.

"Beautiful isn't she," he stated as he cracked open a bottle of water.

"She is, I just wish that she was mine," I replied as I turned to face him.

"She will be son, just give her time and forgiveness. She loves you too, and she knows it. She just doesn't know how to deal with the situation. Think about what it's like to be her. She doesn't believe in killing, she also feels that an immortal life is never the way to go. She wants you though, and there is not a doubt in my mind that you guys are a ticking time bomb. One move and she will be yours," he walked away being replaced by my two best friends who were half drunk.

"Duuude, you have to try the punch!" Scorpius yelled through the noise, forgetting that I had perfect hearing. He was leaning on Albus giggling with him. They seemed to be so in love. I felt jealousy course through me like fire. I wanted what they had, a perfect relationship, true happiness, love that could never fully go away. They had everything that I dreamed about at night, and they brought out the best in each other. I wanted what they had.

"Ya get drunk, maybe you'll finally get the balls to move in on my cousin," Al joked.

I smiled at them and turned my attention back to Rose, who was no longer alone. He was grinding against Richie McLaggen, the school man whore. He was the biggest piece of shit that I had ever seen and his thoughts of what he was going to do to her brought a red haze to my eyes.

"Dude, calm the fuck down!" Was all I heard as I made my across the dance floor, practically pushing people down. No one had the right to touch my girl like that.

"What the fuck is this about?" I yelled at him as I moved Rose behind me. I felt him get scared and scamper off into a crowd of waiting girls. I turned to Rose, "What the hell, you know who he is and what he does! Why would you do that to yourself?" I screamed as I pulled her out of the hall.

"What the hell is your problem Ryan? I was just dancing with him, it's not like I was going to slip out of dress and crawl into bed next to him. You have no right to be possessive over me, you have no claim." She yelled back as I released her arm and turned to face her. I had her corned so she couldn't escape.

"My problem is that you have no respect for me or your fucking self! You were dancing with him like a slut,"

"O so the way I dance with you is slutty too then. I never fucking touched him. Grow the fuck up and gain some confidence in yourself." She whispered.

"So what the second I leave it's ok to do that!" I said trying to lower my voice.

"No, it's not. Maybe I didn't want to be alone; maybe I needed someone there to help fill the void." She stated as I moved closer to her.

"Rose, what the hell do you want from me?" I said as I pressed her against the wall, my body pinning her to it.

"You Ryan, it has always been you. I have always loved you." I leaned over and forced my lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion that I help in for the five years that I had known her. As we kissed in the hallway Vindicated played through the halls.

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End Notes- Review, and sorry about the cliffy, wait no I'm not. Next update will be coming soon. I also posted the link to Rose's dress on my page.


	8. Lock N Load

This chapter is a rated scene, just as a warning. Also you can find a link to Rose's dress on my page. Chapter Song: Moment of Truth- Fm Static

Lock N Load

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My hands felt the flesh on her hips, causing a moan of pleasure to escape her lips. A smile played on her lips while she kissed me back. I bit back a moan of my own as I lifted her and carried her towards our home. The entire way my lips never left hers.

She tugged at my hair as I murmured the password to get into the quarters that we shared. I bit back a groan and carried her to my room as quickly as I could. I lay her on my bed and finally moved my lips away from hers, paying attention to every inch of milky perfection that I could reach. I held back the urge to explode every time I heard her make those delicious sounds of pleasure. I looked into her heavily lidded eyes and she smirked. She jumped out of the bed with more grace then I had ever seen and slid out of her dress, causing it to pool at her feet. I quickly adjusted myself to relieve some of the pressure that was building in my stomach and turned my attention to her breasts.

I had never seen a woman in that stage of undress before, and it took everything in me to not want to explore every part of her, either with my hand or my mouth. I kissed her lightly, trying to contain my urge to bite. I slowly moved down her neck kissing her pulse point, feeling pure sexual desire and bloodlust coarse through me.

"Ryan, don't stop. Mmm, Merlin that feels good," she moaned as I reached the top of her breasts.

I smiled at her and continued to kiss her tits, but moved my hand lower so it was on top of the thin strip of lace that covered her most intimate parts. I started to rub her swollen nub through the lace causing her to nearly scream out in pleasure. Her mind was finally open to me and I could hear her every thought. I moved my hand a little to the left as she requested mentally and her breathing to become even more erratic.

"I have never felt so good raced through her mind," neither have I love raced through mine as the pain in my lower regions started to grow. I needed to be touched but first I needed her to feel the ultimate rush of pleasure.

In a quick motion I ripped the lace from her body and plunged a finger inside her, quickly finding the magic spot that I had heard all the women in my life talk about. I knew I was inexperienced, but sometimes eaves dropping helped even I didn't want to hear it. I started to massage her clit and felt her start to tighten around, "Fuck Ryan, god!" She screamed out as she came.

She didn't last long, I guess it was because it was the arousal from dancing against me all night and the fact that she had never been touched before.

By this time I was shaking with sexual tension. I knew that I was either going to have to leave Rose and take care of business myself or she would need to help. What she did next surprised me; she took me in her palm, caressing my tip with her forefinger. "I will probably be bad at it." She commented looking nervous.

"Babe, there is no way to fuck up a hand job," I grunted out as she started to stoke.

I thought of everything from my mom naked to Grandpa Charlie's hairy butt riding a Vegas crack whore, trying to get her beautiful O face out of my mind. I felt the orgasm start to rise after about two minutes. "Fuck Rose I'm gonna," and then I felt my balls tighten and my seed spill all over her bed. I waved my wand and turned to her blushing, "Sorry that was pathetic. I should've lasted longer."

She giggled, "Ryan, with the way I was grinding on you all night, I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did."

I smiled at her and fell into an orgasm induced sleep, finally feeling content with the world, not caring where the morning led me.

* * *

Rose's POV

It's so cold, was the first thought that crossed my mind as I opened my eyes to the shocking sunny morning. I felt the cool marble body of Ryan pressed against me and immediately remembered the previous night. Ryan was spooning with me, holding me to his chest, or legs intertwined. On his breath were words about me and I could tell that he was in love with me. I knew in that moment what I had to do.

"Ryan, wake up," I placed my hand on his shoulder.

He startled awake and met my eyes with his. "Sorry about last night," he started.

"Don't be," I retorted. "But we need to talk. If you want to you can get ready, or we can talk now. It is going to happen regardless don't try to run from it."

I saw his heart breaking in front of me; he thought that I was going to tell him to get lost, that we could never be together. He was wrong. Everyone around me was right. Eight months of happiness was worth the lifetime of pain that was sure to follow if my potion failed. "Let's do this now." Was all he replied. I kept my face straight and my mind blocked though I knew he would never invade my thoughts. He most defiantly was nothing like the father I heard so much about.

"I want this. I want us to be a couple. I love you Ryan, I always have and even if it is for a few short months I'd rather know true happiness for that time then spend a lifetime wondering what could have been. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up, I want you to kiss me goodnight, I want you." I rambled out looking at his face; with every word a glow overtook him.

"I agree." He reached over to me and pulled me into his arms kissing my face. He reached my lips and deepened the kiss.

"Fuck yes!" I randomly heard as the sound of a door banging brought me to my senses. Scorp and Al burst into the room high fiving each other and smirking, I knew the bastards were planning something.

"GO AWAY!" Ryan shouted from behind me.

"I would love to my friend, but alas we need to go to my house for my party, don't you want to celebrate my seventeenth?" Al questioned as he started packing Ryan's bag.

"Don't remind me," I could tell Ryan was super sensitive about any seventeenth birthday, for him it was nothing to celebrate.

"We are leaving in 20 minutes, get your crap together Rose." Scorp yelled from down the hall. Bastard. I got up to leave and then looked down when I heard Ryan groan and Al start to laugh. I had of course forgotten that all I was wearing was white satin boy shorts. I ran from the room quickly, no one else would care but Ryan and he saw so much more last night.

"Dude you hurt my cousin I will turn you into a pillar," I heard coming from the other side of the dormitory as I threw on sweats and a t-shirt. I packed a bag by magic and was back in the room within five minutes. I didn't want to be away from Ryan much longer. I had to make the most of this time we had and I would not waste a minute of it.

* * *

Ryan's POV

Flooing to Godric's Hollow was an experience this time around. They had me go first, and Rose somehow ended up last. It was ridiculous. I had to spend a half hour waiting for her to emerge from the flames so I could wrap my arm around her again. It felt like every minute away from drug on for a day. I needed her next to me now that she was mine.

I knew her stipulations of course, she would never be like me, and I would never be able to be like her, so that left us eight months. Eight months that would have to last me an eternity, and her a lifetime. I knew there would never be another for me, but it was worth it. It worth a short time of happiness then an eternity of longing.

Harry's house was filled to the brim with Weasley's and that only reminded me that I still had to introduce Rose to my family. She had only met my mother and Allie. I didn't want her to meet my father; the worst thing could happen if she did, they could sympathize. She could take his side on the battle that I would surely never get over, and now I have no idea where my animosity was coming from,

Rose's hand was in mine as we greeted the family members and tried to disappear into my bedroom. Harry smiled at me, and then I saw Ron.

"Oy, boy what the hell are you doing," he hissed as he barreled towards Rose and me.

"Umm, holding your daughter's hand?" I replied playing half stupid half sarcastic.

"No why does she look like she had just been screwed by Adonis, and is leaning into you with every breath she takes. I refuse to agree to this relationship. It can't last you know that, she does not want to be a leech like you. "He yelled at me.

"We didn't have sex, and I know the time we have together is short. I did not pursue this relationship knowing the consequences of what could happen, now Ron could you kindly greet me like a human and mot some rapist who is trying to harm your baby. You know me after all," I retorted calmly trying to defuse the situation. I knew he would not be happy. After all I have known him for about six years.

"Err, right sorry Ryan," he mumbled.

"Dad, you are so embarrassing," Rose replied from behind me causing me to chuckle.

"Rose want to go say hi to everyone else?" I asked her pulling away from Ron, at least he was nicer to me than any other guy Rose could bring home.

"Not really they will come to us," pulled us into the oversized recliner in front of the fireplace and pulled out a book. We had always read books together, and now we would read the same page at the same time while snuggling.

WE read until dinner rolled around and ate in our chair together observing everyone else. Al was teasing Scorp, Hugo was stealing the last of the potatoes off Lily's plate, and the adults were sipping wine talking about the old days. I knew in a few minutes we would have to get up to go hang out with the rest of our cousins, but for the time being I could place kisses to Rose's head and smile.

"Ryan, be happy," Hermione's voice filled my head. I looked up to nod and meet her smile. I knew she had something to do with this.

"Alright, Weasley clan, we are now going to play a game. Loser has to degnome the garden, winner gets the privilege of having the recliner at Christmas. The game is going to be truth or dare without the dare part, you win by lying without us knowing. I guess it could be called BS, but that makes it too easy. Alright rules are no gross questions, and no abusing Ryan's freaky gift. Circle up," James called to us, clearly pleased by his new idea for yet another stupid game.

"Dom, what is you most embarrassing moment?" He started as we took our spaces.

"Probably the time I got my period on the broomstick, and couldn't use the bathroom for three hours," I knew she was lying.

"Bullshit, it was the time you fell down the stairs in the Great Hall and broke your nose. I was the only human around but the portraits talked about it for weeks," I called out causing her to blush. I totally have this in the bag.

"Al, what did you truly want for your birthday?" Dom spouted out.

"A BJ," he replied blushing. The boy couldn't lie to save his life.

We all laughed, "James how the hell does this game work?" Albus called out to his brother.

"I lied there are no winners and losers, we are just having bonding time. We hardly see one another at school with all of us being so busy. It's a nice way to catch up. Scorpius, if the dark lord were to return would you follow him?"

"What kind of bullshit question is that? Hell no! I would disown the Malfoy's before even considering joining forces with that maniac." He yelled making us all laugh. "Ryan, why do you hate your father?"

"Because he left my mum," I used the old standby.

"Bullshit, real reason please," came from Lily.

"Fine, he left my mom not looking back and then when he reentered our lives he took her away from me. After him my mom was no longer my mom, she almost forgot about me becoming more friend then parent. He never let her raise me and was constantly contradicting everything he asked me to do and everything he told me to be." I took a breath and continued. "He tried to by my love with cars and toys, but never once asked what I truly wanted. I never needed him, but I wanted a relationship with him outside of money. I want him to show love not say that he does. I am also tired of him pressing me on this path that I don't want to take. I do not want to be a doctor; I want to be an Auror. I want to be a rock star or an author; I have no interest in being a healer. It would become repetitive. I want to be me without his input; I am tired of being told I'm wrong." The room was silent.

"I think we are done for today," James said. "I had no idea. Sorry cuz."

Everyone left me to my thoughts except Rose who took her spot under my chin. I finally found what was bugging me. Now I could choose to move on from it or remain stuck where I was.

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**End Notes- Sorry about the massive wait! I tried and failed to get this chapter right, and I am still not happy with the way it turned out. Thank you for reading my story and I do hope this chapter was worth the wait. The story will begin to pick up a bit more now. In the next chapter Rose meets the Cullen's. There will also be more fluffy moments between Rose and Ryan. **

**Please Review, it makes my day. I know this chapter is poor, I know it needs to be edited but I just had to share it once it was completed. Also thank you for your time. **


	9. No More Secrets

Here it is my next chapter. I hope you enjoy! See you below.

Songs  
Only Exception- Paramore  
Make Me Wanna Die- The Pretty Reckless  
Everybody's Fool- Evanescence  
River Flows through it, Kiss the Rain- Yiruma

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No More Secrets

Today is the day. The day I have been dreading since Al's birthday. It's Thanksgiving, and while Rose is looking at me like I'm nuts for celebrating a holiday that has no meaning in Europe, my family would kill me if I wasn't there. It also seemed like it was better to face my father sooner rather than later, and have Rose know them for the next six months before I disappear into oblivion. I know that she will still want me around, but I won't be able to do it for a few months. I have to let her go first then come back to be her friend.

I packed Rose's suitcase with her fanciest Muggle clothes, mainly to try and save her from the Allie shopping trip that was sure to arise. I didn't know if she liked shopping like me, but vampire shopping is nothing like shopping with her family. Allie would bombard her with more clothes then she could ever wear, and though her family had money, she would never be at the same level as us. An eternity will do that to your finances.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" she asked walking into the room that we now shared.

"Saving you from a shopping trip from Alice, she will drag you to every Muggle store in Europe to find the right wardrobe," I commented dryly.

"Honey, I don't care. It will be nice to have someone to shop with who isn't part Veela, or my mom. I realize that she is nothing but a gorgeous vampire, but I think I can hold my own next to her. After all I am a gorgeous witch. If I start to feel down all I have to do is perform a symmetry charm, and bam I'll be as beautiful as her. "She smiled at me letting me know it truly was ok.

"Fine, then I guess I'll just throw in your yoga pants and jeans. Don't say I didn't warn you." I chuckled standing up to give her a hug. "You are much braver then my mom was. She would whine every time Allie even mentioned shopping, now though they are partners in fashion. My mom just had to learn she was worthy of beauty and nice things."

An awkward silence followed my statement as I finished throwing a few band t-shirts into her bag. "Thanks, Ryan. I am nervous about meeting them. How did you even pull this off? A week and a half in the middle of term? Normally Harry would throw a fit if any of his students wanted to leave."

"Well Rose, do you have any problem completing you course work?" She shook her head, "See that's why we are after all his most brilliant students, plus I told him that it was research for our potions. He couldn't say no."

She smiled and slipped on her worn Chucks. She ghosted past me, placing a hand on my side as she passed. I made my way out slowly behind her feeling my own nerves creep up. My family was weird about significant others, and this was practically a one shot kind of deal. If she didn't fit in then she would never be able to be with me fully, if she did then June would be even harder. My family's pain would wear on me, making it unbearable. Everything with her was a situation where someone would get hurt.

* * *

Rose's POV

I saw the car before Ryan did, he was staring at the ground lost in his own thoughts, like he so often was whenever the fear of seeing his dad came into the picture. I knew I just had to let him deal with himself, trying to get him to talk it out would be impossible. When it came to Edward Ryan was always reserved.

Bella was sitting on the car's hood as I walked up. It was surprisingly reasonable compared to what Ryan had told me. "Hey hon. I know not what you were expecting right? I feel that a Highlander is just as good as an Aston Martian, I would rather not flaunt my wealth it makes me feel like a Malfoy." She said smiling at me. Her amber eyes were soft and I could feel the love radiating off of her as Ryan shuffled into the back seat.

"He's like this every time he has to come home. His father gets to him. I don't understand why he has done everything in his power to make Ryan feel wanted."

I tried to bite my lip, and not let my genes get the best of me but it just spilled from my lips, "Ryan hates that Edward took you away from him. He also hates how Edward tries to buy his love. Ryan feels that Edward would rather donate money to his cause then love. Ryan doesn't need a super fancy car, but he does need his father to show him something more than monetary interest." I covered my mouth, and looked at the ground. There goes my shot at being a part of the family.

"Well he is more like me then I thought. I would rather you keep that between us until Ryan talks to his father about it. It won't make him change unless he hears it from his son. Edward is just like that. Oh, and honey, you can always state your opinion around our family. It's a breath of fresh air in all honesty; we have gotten stuffy in our old age." She laughed at her joke and motioned for me to get in the car.

Ryan was sprawled across the backseat with his ear buds in his ears, blasting music to zone everyone out. If it was any other circumstance I would call him an ass. "Yep, totally Edward's son," Bella joked as she sat next to me turning over the engine and fiddling with the heater. "You can adjust the heat however you wish. I could honestly care less. After all I could care less about the air around me. But music on the other hand you have to leave that up to me. Paramore, Pretty Reckless, and Evanescence, work for the drive? I'm about girl power today." She was friendly in a slightly awkward way. She wanted to say something but who knew what it was. She was just as closed as Ryan when she wanted to be.

"So, Bella how did you feel when you first met the family?" I asked because she was the only other human that had been brought over there as another potential family member.

"I was nervous that they wouldn't like me. Rosalie seemed to hate me, and I had little self confidence back then. Now it's different, its home even if Ryan gets mad at us sometimes." Her answer made sense, I wasn't necessarily afraid that they wouldn't like me; I was more worried that they would say I was a bad influence for Ryan. "I bet you don't feel that way. You are so different from me. I gave up my entire world even the mother bond with my son, for this life. Something tells me that even if you were dying you would choose death over this life. You refuse to be like us. Though I can't pretend to know why."

"Because, my beliefs are stronger than any love that I could imagine. I know that I will die eventually, and I accept that. Choosing your way of life, no matter how humane, defies that belief. I do not want to spend an eternity never changing, no matter how much I love your son. I would rather live broken hearted for a lifetime, then spend a lifetime never doing anything but staying the same." Bella sighed, and stared at the road ahead.

"I admire your strength. But it leads me to draw up some anger towards you because that's my son that you love. Even if you know that you can live without him, how can you assume that he will be able to do same? Edward was follow after me if I was ever to die and I am pretty sure that I would do the same for him. The thought of being without him is unbearable. I can't believe that you would choose to hurt him that way." I wanted to bite my tongue. She had a right to talk to me like this but she knew nothing about her son. I see now what he meant about no one letting him make his own decisions. I felt a deep regret for Emalie.

"Well if he thought he couldn't live without me then why did he choose to pursue me? It's not like I was sitting there going come on Ryan fall in love with me. I pushed him away more than most people could ever fathom, and I love him too. I love him so much I was willing to let him go. Something you were never able to do. I knew he would do the same thing for me if he has too." She hissed a red film covering her eyes.

"What do you mean if? He will surely have to let you go, with your stubbornness. You refuse to open your eyes to a new life! You must not love him as much as you say you do, if you did you would be willing to change for him, if you truly loved him you would refuse to hurt him."

"No, I love him more then you could ever imagine, but I will not choose to enter you way life bitter and have that follow me for an eternity. Also hurt has everything to do with love. You let a man choose your life for you, and you never once looked at the other options. Never! He was willing to leave you human, you choose to become like him. You never once looked at what he was willing to offer you. If I felt it was right I would willingly live the rest of my life with Ryan as a human, but that would not be fair. IF he changes then he will remember me fondly, not as he does now. His love will fade eventually because I was a part of his human life. Do you not know anything of your kind? The only reason why the change kept you love with Edward was because he was there and you refused to change your thoughts! If you had then you could have moved on yourself." I raised my voice slightly, Bella was annoying. I don't see how she could have produced someone as amazing as Ryan.

"What the hell do you mean by if? If he changes this, if he has to that! Of course he has to change! You are a stupid child if you think otherwise." I snorted.

"Really then why is my entire year dedicated to a potion that will enable him to stay human if it he chooses? It was a selfish decision on my part. His is meant to make your life better, but mine is meant for him. Of course it will help someone else down the line if they choose, but of course there will most likely never be another Ryan."

"You bitch! You are trying to take my son away from me. How do you sleep at night knowing that you denying a mother her right to a child?" I laughed. How could I be more mature then someone who was twice my age?

"That's not what I am doing. I am giving you the chance to see him grow into a man. I am giving you the chance to see him grow beyond his seventeenth birthday. Yes if it works he will eventually die, but if it's what he wants why can't you be happy for him? Oh, I know because you are this high horse that an eternity is the only way to live. Guess what hon, it's not. A normal human life will be worth more than your eternity. You never give him the chance to choose. I see now why he hates coming home for holidays; you guys pressure him into everything he doesn't want to do. Have you ever asked him what he wanted? No I know you haven't. Wake up and be a mother for once not some psycho overlord." I smirked at her after getting it out. I was starting to hate this bitch.

"I am sad that my son choose you. You don't deserve him. You are truly a selfish cunt that doesn't even deserve a part in his life."

"You too Bella, you too. At least with me he always as choice." I said as she parked the car. I grabbed my backpack and hopped out, taping on Ryan's window as I made my way past. Alice was always friendlier towards me anyway.

Sadly she wasn't the first person that came out to greet me. I recognized him from Ryan and was immediately blown away by his crooked smile. "He's mine slut." Bella hissed as she stormed into the house.

"Well looks like you got under her skin. Hi Rose, I'm Ryan's sperm donor Edward." Ryan scowled at his father as he made his way inside. "Well its better than being completely ignored." He joked.

"Hi," I murmured. I was worried about his backlash; I did just piss off his wife all.

"How can I be mad at you for making her angry? You probably told her what she needed to hear anyway. She is always unreasonable when it comes to Ryan. I suppose you would be the same if you had your own child." He looked me up and down. "Then again probably not. I met your mother. She's slightly amazing. She's helping me find a program in which I can be a doctor, or something. Your world kind of sucks without being able to do spells. She says that I should be able to learn though. I have some magic genes." He smiled at me and reached for my bag. I gave it up and followed him inside the house. It was bright and open, a huge change from how Harry described it.

"Yes, dear old Uncle Harry told you about this place. Well it took a year but we have erased all sense of Voldy from it. It now looks like any other home. Please make yourself at home. My mom and dad should be here shortly and Ryan will come out of hiding once I go to his mom." He turned on the TV, and left the room. I was sad to admit that I actually kind of liked this man. He might have his head on a little better then Bella at least. We will see how that changes when she runs her mouth about my potion. I am not looking forward to that conversation with Ryan. It will probably start off with how on Earth could you keep a secret like this from me for four years.

* * *

Ryan's POV

I was happy that I zoned out the drive here. Something told me that I didn't want to be a part of that conversation. My mom looked murderous when we got her and Rose had a smirk that said I told that bitch off. I was sure to hear about it later, but for now I was going to enjoy the peace with my angel in my lap. It was weird that no one else was here but my dad, but I guess it was to try and give us some family bonding. Like that'll happen. No one can force that relationship upon us.

"So what did you say to my mom?' I asked Rose trying to start a conversation. I was tired of sitting in silence.

"The truth. We will probably talk about it later so no worries. I'd rather have you curious then moody for the next few hours. Plus I actually wanted to talk to you about something else. You just have to swear on your penis you won't get mad at me. "She snuggled closer to me.

"I won't get mad, honestly you have the ability to think clear through any emotion that you are feeling. Tell me."

"I think you should talk to your father. While he does seem to have a stick up his ass, he will probably be more reasonable then your mom. You also might have something in common with him. I know you talked to him when you first found him, but you were young. You also didn't, know as much about the world as you do now. Plus you will finally be able to say what has been bothering you." She stated shyly.

"Your right I was going to. I just want to wait until you are out of the house with Alice or something. I figured you would want to go shopping with the vampires," I teased. I had already made that decision on the night of Al's birthday. I needed to let go of all this animosity towards him, and if I still have a reason to hate him, it will be because of whom he is not what he did in the past.

"Your amazing Ryan, I can't wait until they get here it will be nice to be away from your mother. I don't think she like me much." She joked kissing my cheek.

I bent down and caught her lips. She deepened the kiss, pouring all her want into it. I flipped her so I was on top. I started to grope her breast, and heard a soft moan from her encouraging my hand to work its way lower. I started to fiddle with her waist band, when I heard a soft cough.

"Holy shit, our little Ryan is finally getting some. This beautiful ginger must be Rose. I'm Emmett." He said sticking his hand out towards her. "Wait on second thought I don't want his man juices all over me. I have an image to uphold. Welcome, little one. "He smiled, causing Rose to laugh.

"Emmett, try and be appropriate for once, you're a father now after all. I'm Rosalie, you truly are beautiful, and I am enjoying the rant you put Bella into. Someone finally got to her. I love her, but damn she is way too stubborn." Rosalie smiled at Rose. I was worried about them getting along. Apparently, Rose had already earned that respect.

"Nice to see you again," Alice said simply breezing into the kitchen.

"Another human, somehow I feel that you are different. Although I can't tell from all this lust and embarrassment. I'm Jasper, but you probably guessed that. Alice is taking you shopping once you get to meet everyone. She thought you would like some shopping in Milan. The Pixie will kill ya if you aren't careful." Rose chuckled at his statement.

"I'd love to go, but how will we get there?" She asked.

"Floo of course, Alice has been abusing it for the past few years. The jet is starting to get lonely." Jasper commented leaving the room.

"Your mom is livid," he thought to me. "That little one is way more potent than we thought." I smiled and looked at Carlisle and Esme.

"Rose, these are my Grandparents."

"Happy to meet you, Ryan is lucky to have you. I can already see a change in him." Esme commented.

"Welcome to the family, hope you find yourself at home."

"Ryan, she is very pretty." I heard Rose gasp at the perfect twelve year old in front of me. Emalie was still too young to have developed most of her vampiric abilities. She still had another eight years before she would change fully. While she was stronger than an average twelve year old she was delicate. Maybe not, but her doe eyes and perfect features made her look soft and angelic. It would be shocking to see her fully changed. "I'm Emalie, Ryan's cousin."

Emalie took after her parents leaving Rose and I alone again. "So there they are. A picture perfect vampire family. Anyway why don't you Floo out with Alice. I'll still be here when you get back. I may even cook dinner." I teased. Rose gave me a kiss, and made her way into the dining room where Alice was waiting.

I heard her leave and made my way to my parent's room. I didn't knock, just barged in. "Mom, what the hell did you say to her?"

"O funny, I didn't hear you ask the same thing to her. Apparently I'm not important to you anymore. Jesus Ryan, how can you like that hussy?" She fumed.

"Well apparently she said something you disagree with. You net her mother what did you expect? She is vocal with her opinions and says what she feels is right. She isn't ruled by her emotions and everything she decides on is what is best in the long run. At least she cares enough about me and herself to make a decision we both can live with. You do realize that you practically forced dad into changing you, even though he felt it wasn't the right decision. Plus, I can never understand your relationship. The fact that you would rather give up your own son then not be with him? Christ mom." I vented.

"I guess that the bitch has got to you too. What is this everyone against Bella? You guys are being stupid teenagers why am I the only one to see it?" I now see why Rose was smirking.

"O yes Mom, this is everyone against Bella. We are playing your funeral pyre right now. What the hell do you think; you think that my girlfriend wouldn't be upset that you basically abandoned your son from the moment he was born for some unhealthy obsession with the guy who knocked you up. You never even tried to move on. You know I thought I was mad at dad, but in all honesty most of that anger was directed towards you." I fumed. I was also amazed at my current revelation. My dad was doing what he thought was right. He loved my mom, and wanted to give her a future. Yes he tried to buy my love but I would start on him later.

"You know I love you Ryan. You are my son. I brought you into this world."

"Yes you did, but you only did that because I was a connection to the one thing that you wanted. Look inside yourself, and I know the answer. Honestly you would trade me in a heartbeat for him. I was never your son, just a connection to him. Get over yourself. Once he came back you basically left me to fend for myself. Mom, you need to wake the hell up and if my potion works and you do have another child, if it is anything like me I will take that baby away from you faster than you can say I love you."

"I am honestly sad that I had you. I can't believe you would say that to me! I love you, but obviously that isn't enough. You are just angry because I love your father too." Talking to her was like talking to a teenager. She was hopeless.

"That is so pointless mom. I am mad because you were never a mother to me. Yes you raised me, kind of. You just pawned me off onto whoever would have me, and that stops now. I am not your child; you are just an egg donor. Honestly my parents were Rosalie and Emmett and every other person you had watch me because you were too wrapped up in yourself. Now leave I want to talk to my sperm donor." I pointed at the door and she stormed out. Esme would calm her down. They would hunt and everything would be fine, she'd forget the conversation, and nothing would change.

"Sorry to upset her dad." I told him.

"I didn't know you felt that way. I thought you were just angry at me for leaving. If I would've known that she was pregnant I would have come back and take care of you. I never knew. I loved you from the moment that you came along. I didn't mean to try and buy your love either. I just wanted you to have the best of everything and I didn't know how else to show my affection to you. I am truly sorry." He said looking towards the ground.

"Dad, look you have done everything you can in the past few years. I just haven't been receptive. I'm an adult now; I don't need you to raise me anymore. I just need you to be there when I have questions. The sad thing is now I understand why you left. I would do the same thing for Rose, but she will never be in danger from me. Mom just refused to change and I hope that it hasn't driven you apart."

"It has, now she is hell bent on having another child so she can correct her mistakes, or so she says. I think it's just to feel closer. I have changed since I left. I don't have the obsession that we had before and she still has it. It's like she feels that if she lets it go she will lose her love me. It will just make her love stronger. I don't need her to breathe; I need her to love me. If I were to lose her again, I could find my way through. I may never love another, but its ok with me. I knew it once and that one time is worth an eternity. My emotions changed once they can change again." He was making sense. Now that I gave into my feelings about the situation, I could hear what he had to say without judgment. It's hard to be angry at someone who made the same decision I was about to make. I am my father's son and for the first time I am realizing that it isn't a bad thing.

"Dad, thank you for not giving up hope and trying to be the best man you could be. I know the situation sucked, but you made the best out of it. I'll be happy to have everyone over here for Christmas." I hugged him and went on my way. Now that I was beginning to let my anger go, I was finally starting to feel at peace with my family. There is no more anger.

* * *

The next few days passed slowly, my mom never came around to what I told her. I wasn't expecting her too. She was her own person, and stubborn. She would never admit to herself that she made a mistake in raising me. Imposing her needs on me was wrong and she needed to hear it. I'm happy I got it out, happy I forgave my family and now we have some happiness.

Dad said that Jacob could come for Thanksgiving, and I thought that it might be a good thing. Having him here would help. We needed someone else to eat other then Rose, Emalie, and me. He was arriving sometime after two, and he was going to get to know the family. A werewolf in a household of vampires was sure to be interesting, but it was worth it. He needed a family now that his had abandoned him.

"Ryan, do you want to do something? We have a few hours before Jacob gets here, and well I'm bored." Rose was wearing her new designer silk top and jeans looking totally amazing. I was going to kill Allie next time I saw. I didn't want to have sex with her anytime soon, but she seemed to be dressed for it.

"Umm, why don't we watch bad Muggle movies on mute and make up the words?" I asked knowing it would cause her to laugh and keep us entertained for a few hours.

Midway through the second movie I heard Jacob on the step and I moved to let him in. "They are used to the smell; I used to have a dog." I told him as he jittered on the doorstep.

"Surprisingly the smell doesn't get to me as much as it used to. I can handle a houseful of vampires." He walked in cautiously, obviously fearful of an attack.

Everybody besides my mom came into the room, introducing themselves and welcoming him to the house. He went into the kitchen to work alongside Esme while she prepared the meal. My family was slowly expanding and I was almost looking forward to Christmas here with the entire Weasley clan.

Everything was falling into place when my mom stormed into the kitchen and started screaming. "Oh, so now he brought you along too. Really? Is everyone who ever abandoned me winning over my son? God, you guys are pathetic filling his head with lies. What did you tell him? That you made a mistake choosing Leah over me? You make me sick Jacob!"

"Umm, actually Bella as you know I wanted to raise Ryan as he were my own but you wouldn't let me. You also pushed me away time and time again. I went to Leah because I thought she was my imprint. I know now I faked that because I wanted an easy escape from the pain you were putting me through. Pull your head out of your ass, you got what you want." He yelled at her.

"Bullshit, my son hates me because of the lies everyone has told him." My mom retorted.

"Yes he hates you so much he refused to acknowledge and vocalize his opinions for years. Make a hell of a lot of sense to me. I'm almost regretting helping him now. I hope with your next child you won't be so damn selfish." Jacob started to stir the green beans that were boiling on the stove.

"I would not mess up my next child because I will actually have some support."

"You will unless you don't let go of this obsession you have with your husband! What are you afraid of? You know you will still love him if let it go. He has, and you know he has been able to make some logical decisions." Rose stated.

My mom moved at vampire speed and got in her face, "You little bitch; you think you have all the answers don't you. Guess what! You don't you are sixteen; you know nothing about love or the world around you. You don't even love my son enough to change for him. You are making him change for you. Ya I am so obsessed. Is it really that bad?"

"Yes," came from every corner of the house. "Fuck you guys," then she tore out of the house.

"Wow, sorry guys. I didn't mean to ruin the happy family." Jacob said while tenderizing my steak.

"She's been like that for days; she just has it stuck in her own mind that it's everyone against Bella. Dad is even considering leaving her if it doesn't change. It's not healthy for anyone." I commented. "What did she mean about you changing me?" I turned to Rose.

"I wanted to have this conversation at a later time, preferably when I knew it was going to work." She started nervously.

"Come on Rose, you got it to stop with a rat. Just tell him." Jacob commented.

"Well my project is a potion that will erase all the vampire from you. It will have to be given the night of your change, but I am making progress. I am just having a hard time mixing the potion that stops the change, and the potion that will erase the vampire from you together. A lot of rats have died, but there was one that is now normal."

I didn't know what to think. He project was something so that we could spend our lives together. It made me feel like a million galleons, but on the other hand I would have to say goodbye to my family. "You wouldn't need to say goodbye. We are still your family, and honestly I would rather have you live a normal human life, then an eternity as a vampire." Dad thought to me. I smiled at him.

"Thank you Rose," I whispered in her hair as I pulled her close and started a deep kiss. "Thank you for the opportunity to have you with me the rest of my life."

We stood entwined for an unknown amount of time before Esme called us to dinner. I ate my steak while Jacob looked at Emalie with great interest. He was going to imprint once their eyes connected. I could just feel it.

It was funny in this house where my mom was acting like a two year old, and nothing was certain, there is still new love to be found. I pulled Rose's chair closer to mine, and smiled at her. This was what I wanted. I loved this girl, and in this house where love shouldn't exist, there was more than a sappy romance novel.

* * *

End Notes- **Wow a super long chapter for me! So guys sorry about the hiatus. I have been dealing with some very tough personal issues. For one I just forgave my father for being absent most of my life. I had some severe relationship issues with my boyfriend that are hopefully now on their way to being resolved, and my grandmother passed away unexpectedly of cancer. So I tried to put all that pain and confusion into this chapter. I know there are a few grammatical errors. I didn't edit it. But I sincerely hope you enjoy! Thank you for your time and review!**


	10. Hell is a State of Mind

This chapter is all in Edward and Bella's POV. For the story it made sense to feature them for this chapter. Next one will go back to Ryan and Rose's. This also has some pretty heavy stuff in it, so it you are easy to cry, have some tissues by you.

* * *

Airplanes- BOB ft Haley Williams

White Blank Page- Mumford & Sons

**Hell Is A State of Mind**

* * *

Edward's POV

When I was first turned into a vampire, Carlisle told me that every feeling I felt for another person was definite and eternal. I am starting to disagree. It may be because my wife is constantly clinging to me like a baby monkey, or maybe it's because she is so dependent on me for living that I know she would kill herself if I ever left her, regardless of the circumstances. I want a partner, not a pet.

I know I should tell her how I'm feeling, but the words won't come out. I don't want her to fly off the handle like she has been doing so often lately. Every time I try to speak with her she immediately jumps to the most illogical conclusion and makes me feel like I am a terrible person for even suggesting everything that I feel.

"_Edward, we want you to be happy. You need to try and talk to her. She won't be able to change unless everything becomes clear in her mind. You will never be happy if this continues. Please think about yourself for once." _ Jasper thought to me.

It's what everyone has been saying, tell her how you feel, it will set you free. No it won't because what if she goes and gets herself killed. Then that blame will lie solely on my shoulders. I can't live with that. I can't hurt her, I can't do it. I'd rather live my life in misery then in guilt.

She's gone again; hunting alone because she feels that no one wants to spend time with her. In a way she's right, no one wants to be around her foul mood. We want her back, not the bitter angry Bella that has become the norm. The funny thing about it is that I should blame Rose for her mood, but I can't get mad at anyone who made the truth known. She brought it into the light, and now we have to deal with it. I am forever grateful to the witch that tried to make everything right. My son sure did pick a good one.

"Hey son." Esme said as she walked into my room.

"Hi," I grumbled back, not moving from my sedentary position on the black leather couch.

"Her actions, no matter what they may be are none of your fault. You did nothing but try to make the rest of eternity bearable for you, you need to tell her before you lose yourself to the depression that is sure to overwhelm you." She moved to my bed and took a seat. "I love Bella she has been a part of this family since the first day she was introduced, but now she is not Bella. She is obsessed with the wrong things, and refuses to accept the fact that there is a life outside of you. Edward, you take precedence over her own child, that is not healthy by any means. Please, do whatever you have to do to fix this."

"I'll try." I said quietly and reached for my phone. "I'm borrowing the plane. I'll have Aro fly it." I stated and sent a quick text, then dialed Bella's number.

"Well finally someone calls to make sure I'm ok. You guys disgust me." She complained causing agitation to rise up in me.

"Come home. You will have a bag packed when you get here, and we are going on vacation. Just us." I kept the frustration out of my voice as I told her that. Might as well give her a few more hours of peace. Not that she will take it that way.

"Really love? I'm so happy that you have finally let this go. I'll be home in an hour. Thank you so much," she said as she disconnected the call. The innocence in her voice almost caused me to change my mind, but she needed to hear it. I needed to say it.

"Alice," I wanted to hear what she had to say on the situation.

She raced into my room, with a sad smile on her face. "I'm not telling you anything about what will happen. You need to make this decision blind. There are so many variables, so much that goes into play. I can't give you an accurate prediction and I want you to do what you feel you need to do."

I nodded once, feeling a sharp sting of disappointment. I figured she wouldn't tell me anything. "I understand Alice. I had to try though. Keep an eye on Ryan while we are gone. We should be back by Christmas. That only leaves four weeks to fix this though."

"I will, and he'll be fine. Plus you have to be back soon to see the entire clan together. Our house is the only that will be big enough, even the Malfoy's are coming." She said smiling; she turned and walked out of my room.

I packed the bag for Bella carefully selecting all of her beach clothes; I bought her an island after we were married as a getaway spot for us. I had yet to use it. I don't think she even knew about its existence. After packing I waited patiently for her to reappear. She wasn't as punctual as she used to be. I knew that it came with the anger though; she just didn't care about us anymore. No, I take that back she thought we didn't care about her.

She arrived just as the car to the airport arrived on our front step. "Good timing," she smiled. I noticed that her smile was empty. I think I have already lost her.

* * *

The flight was quiet and long. She read the entire way, and I contemplated the best way to tell her how I felt. I had a hard time even looking at her. I think she has been this way since she was changed; it just took me this long to look at her. I wish I could've done something with Ryan so that he didn't have to face this. He grew up without parents. I messed up.

The house on the island was a small ranch style. Light wood decorated it, and all the furniture was white. It was open and sunny, just what I hoped she would love. The smell of island flowers had imbedded itself into the furnishings, and a soft breeze gently pushed her hair away from her face.

She was beautiful, until I looked close. There was that ever present bitterness behind her eyes. I have no idea why. I would give her the world if she could just let go of this unhealthy attachment. "So what you want to do first? We could go look at the fish, or cliff dive, or just lie on the couch and watch movies. It's all up to you angel."

"I want to talk to you." She said simply.

"Shoot, I'm listening to everything you have to say."

"Why do you no longer feel like you need me to survive? It's the thing that kills me the most. If you were to leave me I would be so heartbroken I wouldn't want to live alone, but you seem to be ok with the idea of losing me. Why?"

"Love, I have other things to live for other then you, I can't go and kill myself or let myself get depressed over losing you. I have a son to raise, am planning another child, and a family that loves me. I would be upset and comatose for a few months, but never to the point where I would kill myself. It bothers me that you can't let that need go. It scares me. I love you more then I could ever describe, but if I lost you I would force myself to move on." I answered.

"So basically you don't love me anymore." She said looking at the floor.

"Love and need are two very different things Bella, I don't need you, but I do love you. And yes I need you on some level, but not on the level to survive. You are my wife, my mate, but if I had to I would let you go. This need is unattractive, and honestly at this moment the only reason why I am with you. You are not the person I fell in love with. You are a shell of that person, and I find it very hard to love someone that refuses to let that go. I also have seen what you have done to our child. Yes at first I went along with it, but now I can't believe I did that to him. You view it as ok, and see nothing wrong with putting him second."

"I did the best I could with my child! I was alone, no one supported me! No one gave a shit and is it such a crime to want him to have a family with two parents? I love you and everyone says it's not love its need. That's not fucking true." She yelled.

"Bella, if you could save me or Ryan who would you save?" I asked calmly.

"You of course, I can always find another son. There will never be another you."

I felt a wave of anger rise in my chest as I answered, "I would save my son. He has a long full life ahead of him. I would give up my own life him, and would want you to save him over me. You can never find another Ryan; the kid gave up his entire senior year of school for us. These are feelings that you are harboring. The ones that need to be dismissed, because I would never choose anyone over what's best for my child. Oh, and Bella, look at these feelings a little bit more. You can't run away here. You need to face your problems like a big girl."

"You bastard," she screamed as she ran out the door.

I felt a panic attack rising, this was it the moment that I had been preparing myself for. In this one conversation everything would either be destroyed, or be made into something better and more amazing. No matter what pain I am feeling right now, no matter how my heart seems to be falling out of my chest, no matter what I may lose, from the conclusion of the conversation, life can only get better. It's hard to face this hard to look in the eyes of the person I love and rip her heart from her, but she is hurting me. I want her to let that need go. I just have to wait for her to come back.

A minute later the door slammed again, followed by her smell. I looked in her eyes. They were glistening with venom tears that would never fall, and I had to look inside myself even deeper to find a reason to hurt her even deeper. She had to change, she had to see the truth before I self destructed. Please to whoever is out there, please bring my Bella back to me. I don't want to live without her.

"No more running Bella, this needs to be settled now." I told her taking a step towards her.

She backed away, and threw herself on the couch. "Fine, break me and make me go and kill myself, you are a sad excuse of a man. You are pathetic Edward, how could you be with a woman for like ten years and not love her? You disgust me!"

"I do love you Bella. I have just got my priorities in order. Bella you come second to Ryan, he is my responsibility until he dies! You are my partner, someone I chose to spend my life with. Yes, you are a huge part of my life, but I will never be dependent on you for survival again. Bella you shouldn't be either, you have a son, and if it gets better another child to raise, a child who is given to you by your son. He needs you to love him, and when I don't see that it kills me." I told her seeing the anger in her face.

"Say that you are right, which I doubt, how do I let go of it hmm? I am a vampire, my feelings will never change I am forever set in stone. I can't change, which leads me to the fact that you have been living a lie for our entire lives together. You led me on, you son of a bitch. How can you treat me like such shit? Oh because we have a son, ya because that is so fucking important." She screamed at me.

"Vampires can change with determination, and I am treating you with love. It's just not the love you want. I am showing you so much more love then you know, but love isn't what you want. And what you want I will never give you again." I took a breath and moved my eyes to the floor. "Bella I am with you out of pure and complete love, you refuse to see that because you think that I am out to fuck you over."

"Don't make excuses, you have moved on. Who is she? Please tell me I want to know," She said sarcastically. Now I am being accused of cheating on her, even though I have never touched another woman, never even looked at one.

"Her name is Nobody, because she doesn't fucking exist Bella! I am over this; you need to face your own shit before this can go any further. I know you know I'm right, so now for the first time in ten years I am walking out on you. I'll be back later; maybe by then you will have your head on a little straighter." I walked out the door and hopped in my boat. I sailed to the mainland and went to the nearest bar and tried to drown myself in a bottle of Rum.

* * *

Bella's POV

The door shut quietly behind him, leaving me alone for the first time in years. I felt the sting of abandonment start to creep in. He left me, with absolutely no words of when he would be home. He left on the island with no way off, no way to get to him. He was becoming a true bastard. He told me to think about what I was feeling and see how it was wrong, but it's not wrong. How is love wrong?

I walked through the home, sobbing trying to release the tear that would never fall. He wasn't worth this. I shouldn't be crying over someone who doesn't love me. The worst part is that he has even turned his family and my son against me. I have no one. I am alone.

I lay down on the bed that would probably never be used and stared at the ceiling. My skin shot rainbows across the walls and for the first time I regretted the change. I should have just let them kill me. I should have let Emalie take my life from me, because obviously selflessness back fires. I will never have a full life any more. He took away so much from me, and now he has no need for me anymore.

I festered on the thought for a moment then realized that I thought need instead of love. Maybe he was wearing on me. Maybe his lies were finally sinking into my brain and I was starting to believe them. I am over this. I am over feeling like this, but as a final tribute to him before I lie and say I will be able to let it go is I will actually think about he said.

The thoughts he planted in my brain were scary, but the further I went with them, the more I realized he was right. My son was more of a brother that I felt no responsibility towards, and even now, I'd rather pass him off onto Carlisle to be with Edward. If I were to have another one, I know I would do the same. I know I would never be able to love another person with this addiction to my husband. I am starting to see what he meant and now I am regretting every day since the first time I saw him. He ruined my life, simply because I let him.

I know what I need to do; hopefully it works out for the best.

* * *

Edward's POV

I was gone for two days, the two longest days of my life. The entire time was spent either in the bottle or in a deep depression. Hopefully she would have at least come to some conclusion that I was right. The boat seemed to fly over the water as I raced back to my girl. All I wanted was to take her in my arms, but I can't do it until I know for sure that she wants to change, wants to make a difference in this life.

I made it to our island and raced inside; I felt a change in the atmosphere. For some reason it felt cold in the house. "Bella," I called. If she was there she could hear me, but no response came, not even a grunt.

My eyes quickly glanced over every surface in the living room and kitchen looking for some hint of where she was, what she was thinking. An odd smell plagued the air, but I brushed it aside. There was no reason to concern myself with it now. My eyes scanned the TV for a second time and I saw a piece of paper, taped carefully right in my center of vision, her cell phone on top of the stand.

I ripped the note off the glass and quickly scanned it feeling my heart sink. I read it again hoping the words would change, and picked up the small vial that was sitting next to the TV.

_Dearest Edward,_

_This is hardest letter I will ever write, mainly because it will be my last. I have come around to what you said, you were right I needed to let go of the need, and I did. This has nothing to do with what you said, because in so many ways you were right. This is because of the guilt I feel for hurting you and my family for so many years. I am terribly sorry. _

_I can't live with the pain. I will never be able to get over the fact that I abandoned my son for you. I didn't give him the life he deserved. I can never be the partner or mother that you need from me. Please forgive me for this Edward._

_Please don't Alice for not stopping me; no one could have gotten to me in time. I was gone five minutes after this note was written. The potion changed the chemical composition of my body, killing me once it made it to my cold dead heart. I have had it ever since the first fight we had. I take it with me everywhere in case the pain became too unbearable. I am sorry, but it's for the best._

_Goodbye Edward, I hope you can forget me and move onto someone better fit for you,_

_Bella_

I ran into the bedroom looking for her trying not to believe that it real. I found her body laid on the bed; her hair sprawled out behind her. She looked like she did when she was a human, sleeping deeply. I knew she was gone.

I ran to her and took her in my arms crying for her to come back to me. If only I could have made it back sooner, or I wouldn't have even brought up my pain she would still be here and she wouldn't have killed herself. I was stupid and killed the one person I loved.

I heard movement in the living room, but didn't care no matter whom it was they didn't matter in this moment. They could kill me for all I cared. I just lost my mate, the person I was supposed to be with for eternity. She's gone.

"Edward, we got on the plane as soon as I saw. It was too late." Alice's small sad voice sounded from behind me.

I choose not to acknowledge her. I cradled Bella in my arms, crying for her to come back to me. "Edward, I'll leave you alone for a little bit. When you can speak please come to us."

I nodded and continued to sob over her body.

* * *

After a few hours, I made my way back to the living room. The house was deadly silent and felt empty in an impossible way. She couldn't be gone, she was still here, just playing a cruel joke, but then reality set back in. She was gone, dead in the next room over. "I know you couldn't do anything Alice, no matter what I would have done something like this would have happened. I am going to burn the body the put the ashes in the ocean, I think she would like that." I told my family making my way to the beach.

I lit a small fire, and went back to grab the body. I cried as I burned her, a bit more realization coming back to me. I will never be able to hold her again, never be able to hear her voice. She was gone. Truly gone.

"We will have a memorial service when we get back to the house." Esme told me as I started to gather the ashes. I simply nodded. "Edward, I'm sorry if you need anything tell us." I nodded again. Not wanting to go through the motions that I needed to go through.

I sprinkled the ashes in the water before I spoke, "Bring me Bella's phone, I need to tell Ryan. Unless one of you already did it," I accused.

"Here," Alice handed me the phone. "I knew you had to be the one to tell him."

I dialed his number, trying not to cry again. He needed me to stay calm. "Finally come to your senses mom?" He answered after several rings, almost as if he contemplated taking the call.

"Ryan, sit down." I told him. A slight tremor in my voice.

"Dad? What's going on?" He asked, as I heard him take a seat. I heard Rose's breathing in the back ground, and silently thanked God that he wasn't alone.

"I'm cutting straight to the point, your mom committed suicide. She's gone Ryan; we will be home in twelve hours. We will get you from school so start getting your affairs in order. I love you son, see you soon." I hung up the phone and then started to cry again.

* * *

**A/N Thank you guys for sticking with me through the story and my hiatus! Thank you for reading and reviews, it means a lot to me that I am getting noticed! This chapter was a little hard for me to write but it made sense to put in here. The next one will progress through Ryan and Rose's POV. It should cover his reaction and the service if I feel like I can handle writing it. Edward may find someone else in the story, but I'm not sure, he first needs to get over the pain before he can even think about being with someone else. But anyways, let me know what you think and any suggestions you may have, what you want to see ect.**


	11. Rebuilding

Beginning notes- This introduces a new character that has her own story. She won't be huge in here because it is not her story, but if you would like me too, I can write her tale.

Rose's POV

* * *

I felt guilty ever since thanksgiving when I came nose to nose with Bella. She seemed to have gone downhill fast, and I knew even though I spoke the truth, I should have done it lighter. Bella was a good woman and a strong vampire I should have broken the news to her in a gentle way, not ripping her head off.

"Rose, where is your mind lately?" Ryan questioned. We were sitting in the common area of our dorm staring at the fire.

"Just with your family, I feel like I have messed everything up. I mean everything was fine until I ran my mouth like the Weasley I am." I answered, knowing that it sounded like I was playing into the poor pitiful me act.

"She needed to hear it, and in the long run you have made everything better. I have my dad back, Jake and I are getting along famously, and above all my mom can improve herself. I do not want another brother or sister who faces the same fate that I did." He answered the same way he has in the past leaving no room for argument I just needed to get over the fact I destroyed someone with a few short sentences.

We grew quiet again, only to be interrupted by Ryan's phone. "Ugg, seriously. She must have come to her senses or something. She and dad were on a holiday. He must have finally got through to her." He murmured to no one in particular.

"Finally come to your senses mom?" He answered, beginning to pace. He placed the phone on speaker and motioned for me to be silent.

"Ryan, sit down." I heard Edward say. He sounded like he had just seen death. I am sure this is what he sounded like the day after he lost Bella the first time. This was not going to be good.

"Dad? What's going on?" He asked in near panic, taking a seat next to me gripping my hand tightly. I heard all the fear that he hadn't shown in the past month coming out.

"I'm cutting straight to the point, your mom committed suicide. She's gone Ryan; we will be home in twelve hours. We will get you from school so start getting your affairs in order. I love you son, see you soon." I heard the line disconnect, and felt Ryan start to shake.

"Why the hell would he hang up on me? I have so many questions to ask? How? Why? Was there a note? How could she do this to me?" He got up and started to through the table decorations. "What did she think? This isn't making it better. She is the most selfish bitch on the fucking planet. I hate her."

I felt the news hit my gut and immediately ran to the bathroom. This is my fault. His mom fucking offed herself because of what I said. I vomited my breakfast and started to cry. I really did it now. I can't believe I was so stupid. I caused this pain. I made it so she can never even draw another unnecessary breath. I'm surprised Ryan hasn't run in here on his tirade. I deserve to be dehumanized.

Almost if on cue, I heard Ryan on the stone outside the door. "Rose what the fuck? Why couldn't you keep your fucking mouth shut? She would still be alive right now if you hadn't got us all on her. You are a bitch. Why can't you keep you god damn opinions to yourself?" My face was completely covered in tears at this point. I started to gag again, but knew nothing would come up.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I sobbed out, before curling into a fetal position. In that moment I wanted to die. I felt guilt so strong as Ryan went up to his room and started to destroy the stone.

"Rose, Ryan let me in!" Uncle Harry called from the other side of the door. I made my way back to the common area and opened the door. Upon opening I immediately curled into the fetal position on the rug in front of the fire and continued to cry.

"I just got the news. Sweetie, it isn't your fault. You did nothing to harm another person other than force them to see a truth. If they can't handle who they are then you cannot be held responsible. You are amazing and strong and wanted to help. You did help in so many ways. Get up off the floor and get yourself together. The Cullen's will be here momentarily. Seeing you like this will not help matters out." He told me, dragging me to a standing position.

Harry opened the door and Edward stumbled into the room. "Rose, thank you. Whatever you do from this moment on, do not the guilt get to you, because if you do you will end up just like Bella. We cannot have another loss this big. You are family now. Never forget that." He patted my shoulder and went to the sounds of destruction coming from upstairs.

"Rose, he's right." Alice's soft voice spoke from the doorway.

"I feel like this is all my fault," I told the Pixie watching the rest of the family make their way to Ryan. "He yelled at me and said so."

"Honey, he is angry right now. He means little of what he says. He just wants to feel better and he will either cry on his knees for forgiveness later, or forget all about it. Let it go." She responded.

"Why aren't you crying?" I asked genuinely curious. I had finally got myself together, and started to see what everyone had been saying.

"Little one, I lost my friend and sister a long time ago. I can't grieve for the loss of her body when I have already cried for her spirit most of the family feels the same way. That's why we are so composed with the exception of Edward of course." I nodded seeing what they were saying.

"Can I do anything?" I asked.

"Sure you can tell us whether or not to hold a funeral."

"I don't think it's wise," Uncle Harry responded from the corner. "She was gone long before this and there would be no grieving. I would say set up a stone for her in the graveyard near your house and leave that as a place to talk to her."

"I agree sir. Rose what do you think?"

"I would run it by Ryan and Edward. They are the ones who are hurting most and they might take offense to not having a funeral or memorial." I responded quickly looking to see Ryan make his way down the stairs, holding a bloody hand.

"I don't want one. I don't want a service for the memory of someone who only cared about my father. She never loved me, if she did well we wouldn't fucking be in this boat would we." He commented dryly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, and pulling me close. He placed a kiss on the top of my head and squeezed.

"Ryan, don't talk like that. She loved you here read this." Edward made his reappearance and flopped onto the couch, placing his head in his hands.

I read the note along with Ryan; getting angrier with every sentence. She truly was a selfish bitch. "God, she was selfish. The guilt can fade. She just didn't see that because she never tried." Ryan commented.

"I feel pretty guilty," I retorted under my breath.

"Don't you fucking dare feel guilty. If anything you saved this family and another baby's life from pure torture. Imagine what would happen to my sibling if you would not have spoken up. They would be in a worse position. They would constantly fear being blacklisted for making their own decisions. They would be a puppet in Bella's game. Never feel guilty about trying to make the life of someone you love better. You are amazing Rose." He pulled me in front of him and placed a fierce kiss on my lips.

I tried to fight the fire that was spreading. We shouldn't be kissing like this, not in front of family. Our tongues fought, my hair was pulled tight in his hand. My hands were digging into his back, and I felt soft moans escaping my mouth. "Rose Weasley, I fucking love you." He said as he broke the kiss.

I looked to see the eyes of our families glued on us. "Well that was quite the show, I'd rather my nephew stop it there though. I don't need to see his little winkie," Emmett joked.

I laughed and began to blush.

"Now what type of stone do we want," and the "funeral" planning started.

* * *

Ryan's POV

It was Christmas Eve and the Weasley Potter Clan was at my house. I was happy they were here, but it still felt empty. Ever since the reflection pond was finished I felt like a part of me was missing. At first I was angry when my mom passed, but now it feels normal. I just finally have an answer to why I have felt alone my entire life.

I walked around the property, escaping the goo-goo eyes dad was making at Jasmine Dursley. She was Dudley's daughter and magical. Dudley released her to Harry for Christmas, because he was always busy doing someone from the bar. She was an accident and her mother died in childbirth. She was 20, the perfect age for my dad.

Her eyes were Harry's green and her hair was a deep red, almost like a flame. She was about five eight and a little hell raiser. She was stubborn, loving, and a pain in the ass. I liked her, but thought dad was moving a bit too fast.

I got lost in my thoughts and continued to walk. I finally came to my senses and looked at where I was. I was standing in front of the reflection pond looking at my face. In the past few months I had defiantly taken on a more vampiric look. I was pale, and beautiful. A heart breaker by most standards. No scars marking me, no major indicators of my identity. I looked handsome but deadly, the only way I could be described.

I stared at myself some more. Looking for answers to my questions, none came.

"Mom," I said out loud. "Why did you do this to me?"

I stared into the water, not expecting anything, but then my reflection changed into something more feminine. "Mom?"

"Ryan, I'm sorry. I just had to go. There was no place for me here." She responded.

"There was, you were my mom."

"No, not since I found your father. He was the only one of us who cared enough to help you grow. You were never mine, not since the moment I made the decision to find your father. In doing that I changed fate." She responded.

"What do you mean? Mom, you were the one who gave birth to me. You loved me in your way, I was your son." I started to tear up as I dropped to my knees.

"No, if I would have never made that decision you would have been accepted to Hogwarts as you have now, found your dad on your own and been accepted as one of their own. I on the other hand should have died on my way home from Jake's fighting for his love. It's the truth son. I would have never been there for you."

"What?" I questioned.

"The Cullen's including your father had moved on, yes the wounds were still raw, but guilt was the one thing that brought me back into their lives. I was never fully wanted. I was already lost to them, and was their ghost. This hurts them, but much the same way it hurts you. You feel the loss but it only stings like an old bruise. It's ok son, I don't mind. I know the truth now."

"I do love you mom." I responded as her reflection started to fade.

"I love you too, tell dad that he can move on, he should've a long time ago." She disappeared, leaving me to start at my own face again.

Talking to her freed me. I understood now. You can never change fate. She was never meant to be a Cullen and she tried her hardest to change that, but does that mean that I should have never been born?

"Ryan," called a voice from the pond. I looked down to see Dumbledore. Another man who passed into the abyss.

'Yes sir?" I questioned.

"You were meant to be, you are a symbol of what your parents had. You are the only one who can make the changes that need to be made. You Ryan are an amazing wizard, and one that can only come from two people that truly loved one another." He sighed and looked at my face.

"Your mom is proud; your father will support you no matter what. O and the missing ingredient is three snake eyes than it will be fully functional. Tell Rose that she needs to add two more vials of saliva to the brew and hers will work." He then disappeared into the pond, leaving me alone again.

I walked back to the house, smiling slightly. Things were changing, but they were changing for the better.

End Notes- Sorry about the hiatus. No excuse. But hey merry Christmas and happy New Year. Hope you like my super short chapter. The next one should be longer and I think I am going to start on it now….. Anyway a review would be nice :)


	12. Choices

Spring Equinox 2021

Ryan's Journal Entry

* * *

Three months had passed since my hallucinations in the garden. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I had actually talked to the dead. I don't really care though. It helped me move on and I finished my potion. Rose had finished hers as well, I knew at this point she was going to try and change me, but I didn't know if it was what I truly wanted.

Without it, I would live forever. Everything was set in motion I would be a doctor, a damn good one. I would save lives, and I would eventually find a mate. She will never take Rose's place, but she would simply be a human memory. I could forget her, and move on because I had too.

With the potion I would have pure intense love. I would be able to hold my angel to me every night and not worry about my future. I would become a potions teacher, or researcher. Now that I know what I am good at no point in fighting it. I would have red haired babies, with my mom's eyes, and be able to change. I would grow old and not have to rely on blood to keep me sustained.

The decision is my own and it is the most difficult one of my life. There will always be a battle between good and evil inside me. I guess being all powerful and eternal can be a bad thing, but if it is meant to happen let it be. I am my own person and I will make this decision based on what I want.

I will make everyone proud, but most of all what is more appealing love or immortality? Maybe there is more to me than these paths.

There is also no guarantee the potion will work. I could just end up dead. The flip side is that my attitude and my slyness could make me greater than Voldermort. It will be nearly impossible to kill me. I am not only a magical vampire, but I can read minds and even those that are closed I can still read intentions. This combined with Occulmecy will make me a world dominator.

The only question is what will I dominate? Will I try to rid the world of Muggle borns. No. Oh I got it; I will make sure that no one can love someone else unless it is regulated by the government. This way there is no more heartbreak. I shouldn't have to choose. She should follow willingly.

My mom should have never fallen for my dad. I am well-loved though not what was expected. I can be wonderful in the light or choose to venture into the dark. My mom fought so hard to keep me out of it, but I guess no one can take the evil out of a man.

Then there is love. I have a beautiful girl lying in my bed right now who will marry me the day after I take the potion. She will love me forever; I do not need to read my leaves to see that. She is amazing, her hair spanning out across my pillow, a small smile on her face. This is as good as it gets. I am willing to die for her. I want to give her everything. How can I make this right? What choice do I make? I love her. What can I do?

* * *

End Notes- Well here is some insight into Ryan's mind about his current situation. I will explain more about the darkness in the next chapter. I will also state what he chooses. Another short one, I'm sorry, but I'm back in the groove. Please leave a review!


	13. Revelations

Beginning Notes- You guys are so spoiled this week! Anyway here is the next chapter. I am going to try and finish this little tale this week since I have time. Life has been hectic! Starting a career takes a lot of time, so does breaking up with your bf of 6 years and all the other stuff I have gone through in the past few months. Thanks for sticking by me! And I hope you enjoy the angst.

Chapter Song- Walk Away the Script

Revelations

* * *

Ryan's POV

We were gathered on the rug in front of the fire. Such a common scene for us. Al was leaning into Scorpius, while Scorp was placing loving kisses on top of his head. I was jealous of their ease. While they were an unconventional couple, they had more love than I could ever dream of having one of the few that required no change. I couldn't wait until I reached my power and made them legal. I looked at Rose; the fire dancing off her skin caused the man in me to stir, but the vampire in me to turn away. This was the night that I told them of my decision. I wasn't scared; friends and power do not mix well.

"Can you guys believe that in two months we will be Hogwarts graduates?" Al asked leaning further into his better half.

"Not at all, but these next two months seem pointless. We all rocked our NEWTS and are done with our senior projects. What are we supposed to do? Twiddle our thumbs and look at the teachers? No, I think they should excuse us from classes and finals and just let us go home for the next few months as we fill out internship applications. That seems more prudent." Rose replied smiling at me.

"Totally Rose. I want to be sure I get into the best business position possible. I do not want to be stuck working for some place like the joke shop. Oh I know it is a booming business, but I would rather do international corporation stuff. I want to work for "One Stop" on the board. I have an amazing project to submit to them and everything. It is an automatic accounting machine. Every time a transaction is made it places a new order, and records it to the books in the proper manner. It also closes the books." Scorpius commented.

"Don't computers do that?" I questioned still staring at Rose.

"Kind of. This is different though because with the spell and book, it automatically knows all the money matters. All that is required is a spell which is easy to remember. It just took time getting the syllables right and the right type of book. It can benefit anyone who is business minded." He replied back.

"What was your project Al?" I asked completely forgetting. I was lost in Rose's majesty.

"Nothing all too spectacular. Since I want to get into law enforcement I came up with a new trace. It basically reads the casters emotion and type of magic projected. If it is wandless magic than the caster will simply receive a letter reminding them to control themselves. If it is cast out of fear there will be a ministry representative to their location in less than two minutes. I got the idea from my dad, and wondered how many kids were wrongfully expelled over the years." Al commented flippantly.

"That's amazing!" Rose squealed. "I can see how that would help Muggle borns. They have it hard because they risk expulsion even if it is for good reason or uncontrolled. I remembered when I was thirteen. I casted so much wandless magic unintentionally that my mom said I was lucky not to be expelled. It comes out with hormones, and I know that the really powerful kids can't control it at first."

"Rose, now that it's done what did you make?" Scorp asked.

"I made a potion to stop the change at any stage. As long as there is still a heartbeat, the human can be saved if it is their choice. St. Mungo's has already purchased the recipe and the paper has published it. I receive 10% from every vile used or sold. Since its not super common, the potion is super expensive." She replied smiling.

"How's yours going?" Al asked me genuinely curious.

"Good it was sold to St. Mungo's as well. I only get 5% but it is more common and since it has been tested to not produce vampire children as long as both parents take it, I think that it will be popular. I have sold about thirty viles." I responded. Rose and Emmett were both taking it now soon she would begin to ovulate and get pregnant with their first child. I felt so much pride in myself, but could not help but think that it should be my parents giving me a sibling.

"How does it work?" Al questioned again.

"I removes the freeze on the reproductive tract, but nothing else. If it is taken the tract begins to age. After about a month and a half the female becomes fertile, and the male produces real semen. It can be taken up too twenty consecutive years, before the females organs begin to falter. However, once it is stopped for about a month and a half the tract becomes the same age as the female again. It works best for female vampires at peak childbearing age." I responded.

"Wow," came from my three best friends. I shrugged and started to play with the rug fibers.

"Ryan, how are you doing? It's been about four months since your died, and you have seemed distant the last few weeks. Before that you were depressed. Now you seem happier, but not in a healthy way. You haven't made the decision to commit suicide as well, right? If you need someone to talk to you can talk to us." Rose told me seeming nervous.

"I am not going to commit suicide. I have been distant because I have made a decision that I am not sure you guys will like." I stated to confused eyes. "I have decided not to take Rose's potion and pursue a career in medicine first than a career in politics. I want to make some changes in the world."

"Ryan you know you will lose Rose right. Along with most of the rest of us. We love you, bu we have to be there for her first. You will forget she won't. We won't be mad, we knew that this was your choice, but still she is the best thing that you could ever have. Why give that away?" Scorpius asked.

"There are things I have decided I want to change. I am tired of this bullshit. In my life I have always had to change or have someone change for me. My mom had to change and it fucking killed her. I am going to pass new laws that state you can only be with someone of your own kind unless, without knowing what you are they decide they would like to be the same." I responded.

"That's taking away free will!" Rose cried out.

"Maybe so, but humans have a right to only love other humans. That way no one gets hurt by the change. I'm sorry but I do not think that a werewolf should force another person into love, I do not think that a vampire should change a human for a partner, and I defiantly do not think that they should leave a person once the person loves them back." I retorted.

"You filthy hypocrite! You are doing all those things. You are refusing to change because you want this selfish rise to power and take away everything that has hurt you. Relationships all involve change. You love me yet refuse to change and be mine until you die!"

"You say you love me but refuse to change and be with me for all eternity." I screamed at her.

"Oh, so that is what this is about? The fact I refuse to be a blood sucking rock for the rest of my existence. I want to change! I want to grow old, I want the lost eyesight and weak bones. And if I die before than so fucking what! At least I lived the life that was planned out for me. I am offering you the same. Ryan forever and you is a bad thing. You will still be able to achieve your dreams. You just will not be a cold, dead, parasite."

"Nice to see that's how you view my family. We are all just a bunch of parasites huh? I think you are racist bitch! How can you say that about us? We have never done anything to you, except love you. I bet you think the same thing about Teddy and Jake. What the hell did we do? We can't change who we are."

"You can Ryan. I made sure of that, and I do not want to be like that because I would feel like a monster. You will never fight with your blood lust I will constantly. That will always come first, never you, never my family, the drive for blood. I will be like a fucking junkie. I will never be able to love fully again." She started to cry. Albus and Scorpius shifted uncomfortably.

"Is that what you think of my family? We are all blood driven monsters? News flash we aren't we can still love another person with all our soul and put them first."

"Yes but if the two of you were starving who would get the deer?" She questioned a big tear rolling down her face.

"Whoever got to it first." I replied softly.

"Exactly, right now if we were in a similar situation, we would share. You would not fight me for my half, there would be no limb ripping, it would be cordial. Now do you see why I can't do it? Why I can't be with you? I can't give myself to a drug. Whether it is as a human or a vampire, I refuse to be a fucking junkie."

"Why Rose?" I asked. There had to be a reason why she refused to turn herself over to something. She had a reason, and it was more than morals. "What secret have you been keeping from us for all these years? Why would you have such a problem with addiction?" I probed.

"No." She responded.

"Why?"

"Because, it will change the way you guys think about him." She said in a whisper. Scorp and Al were watching us carefully. They had broken apart and were ready to jump in and separate us.

"Even so, we need to know why you hate what Ryan is so much." Scorp said.

"I don't hate what he is, I hate the drive the desire." She responded lifting up her shirt and dropping it to the floor. "I will not show anything more than this. Revelio." She said softly pointing at her stomach.

Scars appeared. They were a mix between stab wounds and burns. "This is what happens when you get in between the monster and its prey. I stood between my dad and the bottle more times than I could count. You know that trip my dad took in first year. That was to rehab. Not to save the world like you all thought. He never remembered what he did, never knew what he was like when he was seeing red. But I know and I never want to be like that. Ryan you can't honestly say that if I were to stop you from hunting you wouldn't fight your way back to the kill? That is why I do not want to be like you. You are amazing your monster is not."

She said a spell and her scars hid themselves. She pulled her shirt back on ignoring the horror on our faces. "I am never going to be an addict. You can if you want, I'll stay with you until the end, but that is what that moment is, the end. I will never love a monster, even if it only comes out when it is time to feed."

"Rose, I need to make my mom proud." I said in a whisper.

"That is a whole new type of sick addiction. Why would you need to do that? Shouldn't she be proud for you for doing the one thing she couldn't do?"

"That's what I would be doing. I would be walking away from the one love of my existence. It isn't easy but I will be making a change for the better. I can do it and will have a long time to make a change."

"Ryan, you selfish fucking bastard the only thing you are doing is throwing Rose's love back in her face and saying that she doesn't know anything. You guys are different from your parents. You can see it already. Stop letting your fear consume your life and grow a pair. She is not a poor little girl she will let you go, but she will fight for you as well." Al raised his voice.

"Shut up can fight my own god damn battles. Ryan do what you must, but think about the consequences. You are not some little boy. You are a strong man who can make his own decisions and I can tell you right now your dad wants you to stay human. He does not want you to be a vampire lord of destruction. If you change that is what you will become. That change has already gotten ahold of you. You are not meant to be a dark lord, but instead a fighter for good and love." She responded.

"I have to let you go. We have two more months than we need to let us go. We are not meant to be. If we were no one would have to change. We would just fit." I cried.

"I will not let you because you have this bullshit idea that change to be together is wrong. Look at my parents; my dad had to stop his drinking. That was a change! He started drinking because of the man you are going to replace. You say that it is love that is driving you towards this half assed scheme, but it's not its fucking power. You want to be in a position that can cause you to be the lord of love. Oh yes people will listen and be happy, but is it honestly worth it? Huh Ryan? Is it worth it? Losing everyone that cares about you? Even you family will disown you."

"I know and I don't care because I will forget." I turned and left the room.

Rose's POV

* * *

Our first fight. Held in front of our two best friends who were cowering on the floor nearly in tears. It was hell. I came forward and he didn't seem to notice all he seemed to care about was this quest to be alone. He was just like him.

"He's not. He's scared and confused and hurting Rose." Al said almost reading my mind. "He will come around. He loves you more than you could imagine. His confusion is the worst because he wants to hold onto his mom, but doesn't know how. Imagine losing one of your parents due to you. How would that make you feel?"

"He doesn't blame himself though. What is he doing?"

"No, he is trying to hold onto her, and avenge her memory. Ever since Christmas he has been different. I wonder what happened. Before than he couldn't wait to leave his vampire nature behind, now he wants to embrace it. Something happened that night, it's almost as if he saw and channeled Voldy himself," Al continued. "I'm sorry about your dad. You want to talk about it?"

"No, already have. I'm over it to a point, but I hate addiction. It is more disgusting than earwax." I responded.

"We are going to take off go talk to him, and be nice. Apologize and just drop it. I know him. I know this isn't what he wants."

They left and I made my way to Ryan's room. He was in bed, his eyes staring blankly at the door. He didn't even seem to notice me. "You know you haven't cried since she died." I said.

"I know. At least not in front of you and the time I did it was only once. Christmas Eve actually." He told me still looking blankly into space.

"What happened that night? You have never talked about it."

"I talked to her and Dumbledore. She said that she was never meant to be alive past my birth. It feels like I was never supposed to be born. They both disagreed with me, but I feel like I am nothing and that I can make more of a difference if I am not human." He responded.

"So being an evil wizard is a good option?"

"No not really. But it is better than feeling like a ghost."

"I love you Ryan Cullen I have always loved you, ever since that first moment. You are an amazing man and can be a great vampire if that is what you decide. I do not want you to do something though to just be noticed. You are noticed and loved. Never forget that." I turned to leave the room when he called out to me.

"Rose Weasley, I love you too. Lay with me?"

I slid next to him and turned my face to his. He put an arm around me and pulled me closer.

He gently kissed my lips and eliminated the separation between us. I felt him begin to grow against my leg, and deepened our kiss. Nothing sexual had happened since Halloween we both felt guilty about that night and refused to let it happen again. I wanted to know forever was in our future and he didn't want to have a repeat of what happened with his parents.

Now though, everything was different. I needed him, needed his touch. I magically disappeared my clothing only leaving my panties. I was wet already with excitement. "Rose," he moaned as he rolled me under him and started to rub against me. "I want you. All of you."

"Not tonight, but we can have a little fun."

I moved my hand to massage him through his jeans while his caressed my breast. It caused a whole new wave of moisture to pool. "Touch me please," I breathed.

His hand navigated to my magic button and he started to rub me through my panties. It caused me to moan. He then ripped them off and took off all his clothes. "I am not going inside trust me please?" I nodded and started to rub himself against my sweet spots. In that moment all I wanted was to take all of him, but knew I couldn't. I lay they writhing nearing my release when he started to moan and grope my breast. He pulled away and started jacking himself off while moving his other hand to my g spot and bringing me to a mind blowing orgasm. I looked over and he was coming down from his own high.

"I love you Ryan." I said softly.

"I'm no good for you Rose."

* * *

End Notes- Omg! Well isn't this one a little emotional roller coaster. Hopefully it explained more without confusing you. I know this story has gone down the wtf I'm confused path. It should start to come together more and more as time progresses. On a side note, we are reaching the end. I think only about three more chapters. Review, it's like a congratulations cookie!


	14. authors note

Dear Readers:

It breaks my heart to do this but I have come to the conclusion that I need to abandon my stories. I am a completely different person than when I first started to write and have faced a lot. I have tried to get back to them, but am unable to finish because my heart is not with them any longer. In a few weeks I will likely have a new story posted that will be better than my old writing. I have grown as an author. When I start a new story it will be one that has a lot of soul to it and shows how much I have grown as a person.

If you have any question about how the story would have ended, or would like to adopt please PM me and I will answer all your questions for you.

Thank you so much for being a fan and I hope to live you to your expectations in the future. Above all thank you for reading.

Nikki


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